"But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares The Lord...."
Jeremiah 30:17
Sooooo..... today is September 23, 2014....
Exactly one year ago today I received a diagnosis of breast cancer.....inflammatory breast cancer. I kept hearing the words "rare" and "aggressive" and I just knew how I interpreted those words. Over the course of the last year I have re-evaluated my interpretation of those words. I still don't like them, but my knowledge has grown as to what they can mean in the world of cancer.
Bare with me as I am blatantly honest about some low moments, but I am happy to say that the good far outweighs the bad! :)
I thought today was going to be a tough day....mainly because there have been a few low moments in the last few days. Last Thursday (Sept 18th) was the 'anniversary' date of the day I went to the doctor and had the mammogram, ultrasound, and 3 needle biopsies. I still vividly remember everything about that day. It was a tough one. My doctor had told me that she was pretty sure that it was cancer but we had to wait 5 long days for the official diagnosis. I have been remembering things about those 5 days. We went ahead and told family members and a few close friends. I also told some of my coworkers. I can still cry when I think about having to tell my girls and not being able to answer many of their questions. I can remember my lowest moment during those days. I was in the shower and just got weak in the knees and thought I was going to faint. I remember wrapping up in a towel and just laying on the bathroom floor. I prayed right then and there like I had never prayed before. I prayed/pleaded for God to show me His grace and mercy. These are some of the hard memories that have returned in the last few days.
Another difficult part of the last few days was hearing a message at church about forgiveness. Don't get me wrong, it was a wonderful and powerful message. It was difficult to hear because it brought back more memories for me. During my lowest and weakest time of chemotherapy, I had something happen in my life that hurt me worse than anything else has ever hurt me. I have not been struggling with forgiving the ones who were involved, but I have been struggling with totally getting over the hurt. The hurt goes deep. It hurt me and it hurt my family. It also hurt because of the timing that it happened. It is not something that I deal with everyday, but it does still creep up on me sometimes. I really needed to hear the message at church. It provided me with additional strength and I know that the timing of it being preached was no accident.
Now....on a good note!!! This has been a wonderful day!! Not at all like I had anticipated. I have felt strong, happy, thankful, and blessed! For each low moment that I have had in the past few days, there are 100 times as many positives and blessings to reflect on. I am still just overwhelmed by the amount of love and support that we have been shown from the very beginning. I also stand amazed by the goodness of the Lord and how He has blessed me and my family. My love for Him has grown more than I ever thought it could!!
I feel like the few days of low moments will once again be replaced by days of remembering the healing process, the love that we were shown, the blessings that God revealed to us, and the progress that was made in becoming cancer free!! I allowed myself to reflect on the difficult days (which I think was necessary!!) but now I am ready to bounce back to my zero-negative zone!!
Some updates:
I am CANCER FREE!
Believe it or not, sometimes I have a little trouble wrapping my brain around that! It may not make sense but for some reason, after battling the cancer for months, it is not easy to flip the switch.
Currently I am back at my school and this has been the smoothest beginning of any school year! My hope and prayer is that it continues! I am so happy to be back with my students and coworkers!
I am feeling strong and holding up to the demands of working everyday. Thankfully I am not on my feet all day. I have an ELMO in my classroom now which allows me to sit more! It also allows me to instruct the students without having to raise my arm and write on the chalkboard!
While I have had to take naps after school sometimes, I am holding up and doing well!
I have been going to Physical Therapy twice a week since the beginning of August and it has helped tremendously!! I still don't have full range of motion in my left arm but I am making progress! Far more progress than if I didn't have PT.
My hair is growing back slowly but I am still wearing my wig. I am ready to get things back to feeling as normal as possible. Wearing a wig isn't necessarily my 'normal' but it makes me feel like I look more like myself than without it. I have never had short hair so I am not ready to go without the wig. Many people have encouraged me to just ditch the wig. I just can't do it yet. I will when I am ready.....or when my hair is long again! haha! It does seem to be coming in with some curl though! Yay!
I am taking Metformin which is a diabetic medicine. I am not diabetic but this medicine should help to lower the amount of sugar in my system. Since cancer can feed on sugar, this is an option to possibly help fight the recurrence of cancer.
I had a follow-up appointment with my oncologist on September 2nd. At that appointment I had a CT scan which came back good! Praise the Lord!! My blood work looked good as well. I still have a slight tingling sensation in my legs at times which is a lingering side effect of chemotherapy. My oncologist says that will eventually go away. Other lingering side affects... 'chemo brain'. I have had some absent minded moments and feelings of being in a fog. (I am going to blame this on the chemo for as long as possible!!)
My next follow-up with my oncologist is December 2nd.
I have a follow-up appointment with my surgeon on October 3rd. I think it will go well. Everything has healed well since my surgery. I look forward to talking with my surgeon though. She is a great doctor and a huge source of encouragement!!
I need to lose weight. I gained quite a bit of weight during the chemo treatments and taking steroids. I haven't made losing weight a priority because I have been focused on other parts of healing.
Thank you friends for the continued prayers! We are grateful!!
God is SO Good! All the Time!!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths."
Proverbs 3:5-6
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Radiation is Complete!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
Psalms 103: 1-5
I finished radiation treatments last Friday, June 27th! Yay!! I cannot even express how happy I am to be finished! On that day I had a great celebration breakfast with a coworker/friend....then had a wonderful surprise lunch with 11 coworkers/friends...and finished off the day having dinner with my family. What a great day!!
In this post I thought I would explain what it was like to get radiation.
First though, many have asked what is next.
I have a several follow-up appointments scheduled. I will go back to the radiation doctor in August just so he can see that the skin is healed up properly. I have an appointment in September with my oncologist at the Siteman Center. At this appointment I will have a CT scan, discuss my progress, and probably decide what I want to do as far as further "treatment". My options are to take a diabetic medicine to lower my blood sugar, take part in a clinical trial case study, both of these, or neither of these. Right now I am leaning towards just the diabetic medicine. This has been something I have been praying about for months. In October I have a follow up appointment with my surgeon. That will be six months since my surgery. After that I will have other follow up appointments with my oncologist. Not sure what else but just praying that this cancer never returns and it will be follow-up appointments only!!!
So what is it like to have radiation?
I had to have 33 radiation treatments. It ended up taking 7 weeks (2 of those were 4 day weeks). Every weekday morning I went to Mt. Vernon. I was the first appointment of the morning so things went pretty quickly. I would change into a gown and then they would have me lay on a "table" and reach my arms over my head to grab some handlebar looking things. (This part hurt just because my range of motion in my arms was limited still from surgery.) I had to turn my head to the right and then just lay there. For the first 6 weeks I was "zapped" (as I called it) 3 times each treatment. Each zap lasted 20 seconds and in between each one the machine would re-position in order to direct the beam to a different area. I couldn't see the beam but I could hear the buzzing and I could see the sign that lit up showing the beam was on. For 2 of the 3 beams they put something on me that covered the area to be affected. It was called a "bolus" and from my understanding it was to manage the radiation so that it didn't penetrate my skin too much. In other words, it's purpose was to keep the treatment localized to the surface of my skin. (That is my interpretation but please don't quote me on it!) There were a few days in there that they did some short zaps with the beam in addition to the 3 main zaps. I don't know why, I just laid there and kept still. For the last week I only got zapped once at each treatment. For the most part, each appointment only took about 10-15 minutes which includes changing to/from the gown. On the Wednesday of each week I would call or actually see the radiation doctor so he could monitor my progress.
The area affected was about a 5 inch by 8 inch rectangular area on the left side of my chest and wrapping around my side directly under my left arm. For the last week (5 treatments) they reduced the area to be treated to about a 2 inch by 6 inch smaller rectangle.
My skin got really pink/red. At about the 4th week it started getting sore and under my arm was a little swollen. I would say the last 3 weeks were the worst. My skin by then was very red and peeling in areas. It was tight and the area under my arm was very painful. Thank goodness for those pain meds! I was also putting a special cream on the area since the day the treatments started.
At my last treatment the doctor wrote a prescription for a new cream to start using to help with the healing process. This cream contains antibiotics and I am amazed at the difference after using it for just a few days! Thank goodness! There is still some soreness and more peeling that will happen but the area looks so much better and feels better too. Tomorrow (July 4th) will be one week since my last treatment. Let the healing process continue!
Once again, I must say a HUGE thank you for the prayers and support! Please keep praying that the healing process continues and that the cancer never comes back! EVER!!
I am blessed beyond measure!
God is SO Good! All the Time!
Have a very safe and happy 4th of July everyone!
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
Psalms 103: 1-5
I finished radiation treatments last Friday, June 27th! Yay!! I cannot even express how happy I am to be finished! On that day I had a great celebration breakfast with a coworker/friend....then had a wonderful surprise lunch with 11 coworkers/friends...and finished off the day having dinner with my family. What a great day!!
In this post I thought I would explain what it was like to get radiation.
First though, many have asked what is next.
I have a several follow-up appointments scheduled. I will go back to the radiation doctor in August just so he can see that the skin is healed up properly. I have an appointment in September with my oncologist at the Siteman Center. At this appointment I will have a CT scan, discuss my progress, and probably decide what I want to do as far as further "treatment". My options are to take a diabetic medicine to lower my blood sugar, take part in a clinical trial case study, both of these, or neither of these. Right now I am leaning towards just the diabetic medicine. This has been something I have been praying about for months. In October I have a follow up appointment with my surgeon. That will be six months since my surgery. After that I will have other follow up appointments with my oncologist. Not sure what else but just praying that this cancer never returns and it will be follow-up appointments only!!!
So what is it like to have radiation?
I had to have 33 radiation treatments. It ended up taking 7 weeks (2 of those were 4 day weeks). Every weekday morning I went to Mt. Vernon. I was the first appointment of the morning so things went pretty quickly. I would change into a gown and then they would have me lay on a "table" and reach my arms over my head to grab some handlebar looking things. (This part hurt just because my range of motion in my arms was limited still from surgery.) I had to turn my head to the right and then just lay there. For the first 6 weeks I was "zapped" (as I called it) 3 times each treatment. Each zap lasted 20 seconds and in between each one the machine would re-position in order to direct the beam to a different area. I couldn't see the beam but I could hear the buzzing and I could see the sign that lit up showing the beam was on. For 2 of the 3 beams they put something on me that covered the area to be affected. It was called a "bolus" and from my understanding it was to manage the radiation so that it didn't penetrate my skin too much. In other words, it's purpose was to keep the treatment localized to the surface of my skin. (That is my interpretation but please don't quote me on it!) There were a few days in there that they did some short zaps with the beam in addition to the 3 main zaps. I don't know why, I just laid there and kept still. For the last week I only got zapped once at each treatment. For the most part, each appointment only took about 10-15 minutes which includes changing to/from the gown. On the Wednesday of each week I would call or actually see the radiation doctor so he could monitor my progress.
The area affected was about a 5 inch by 8 inch rectangular area on the left side of my chest and wrapping around my side directly under my left arm. For the last week (5 treatments) they reduced the area to be treated to about a 2 inch by 6 inch smaller rectangle.
My skin got really pink/red. At about the 4th week it started getting sore and under my arm was a little swollen. I would say the last 3 weeks were the worst. My skin by then was very red and peeling in areas. It was tight and the area under my arm was very painful. Thank goodness for those pain meds! I was also putting a special cream on the area since the day the treatments started.
At my last treatment the doctor wrote a prescription for a new cream to start using to help with the healing process. This cream contains antibiotics and I am amazed at the difference after using it for just a few days! Thank goodness! There is still some soreness and more peeling that will happen but the area looks so much better and feels better too. Tomorrow (July 4th) will be one week since my last treatment. Let the healing process continue!
Once again, I must say a HUGE thank you for the prayers and support! Please keep praying that the healing process continues and that the cancer never comes back! EVER!!
I am blessed beyond measure!
God is SO Good! All the Time!
Have a very safe and happy 4th of July everyone!
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Honorary Bat Girl! And an update :)
This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24
Radiation:
So far the radiation treatments are going just fine. As of today, I have had 10 treatments out of 33 total. My skin is a little pink but not too bad. The treatments go pretty fast. My appt is at 7:20 in the morning at Mt. Vernon and I am usually all finished by 7:30/7:35. There have been several days so far that I have gone straight to my school afterwards and worked all day. There have also been several days that I am wiped out and go home and rest all day! My goal is work the remainder of the school year which is until June 4th but I am just taking it one day at a time.
Appointment with my oncologist:
Today I had a follow-up appointment with my oncologist. She discussed 2 possible options for me to consider as far as a "maintenance" plan. One of them is more of a clinical trial and the other is a type of diabetic medicine even though I am not diabetic. I can also choose to do neither of them. Please continue prayers for discernment on what I should do. I will be going back to her in 3 months. I can wait until then to give her my decision or contact her before then if I decide to do one of them.
Also when I go back in 3 months they will do a CT scan.
Honorary Bat Girl!!!
On Sunday, May 18th, I got to be the Honorary Bat Girl for the St. Louis Cardinals! What a great day this was!! It was so much fun and I was thankful that Mike and the girls got to be with me for everything! During the batting practice before the game we got to go on the field and also take some family pictures in the dugout. The Cardinals were not taking their batting practice but the Atlanta Braves were! We also got to meet Jason Motte of the Cardinals! That was so great! He was so nice and talked to us for a long time. He is part of a cancer organization and we talked a lot about that. I also gave him my "Karen's Krew" bracelet that I have been wearing during my entire journey. To see him put on my bracelet and get to talk to him about it and the Judges 6:12 reference that is on the bracelet was pretty cool! I saw a picture of him being interviewed a couple days later and he still had it on! His organization is Kcancer at 108stitches.com if you would like to check it out. There is a player from almost every Major League Baseball team as a representative for the organization to Strike Out cancer!
Right before the game was to begin, I was one of three people who got to go out to the pitcher's mound and throw out a pitch. This was also pretty cool...and a little intimidating!! I was escorted to the pitcher's mound by Fredbird. Because I am still in the healing process from surgery I had to throw the ball underhand. It wasn't the best throw but who cares!! I was on the pitcher's mound..... at Busch Stadium.....before a Cardinals game!!! They then presented me with a pink bat and I also got to keep the ball that I threw. They had also given me a Cardinal's jersey with "Bat Girl" on the back. After all of this we got escorted to our seats and we enjoyed the game. Thank you to the many friends and coworkers who came to support me and cheer me on through this fun time. I cannot tell you how much it meant to me that so many came to the game and were so excited for me! There were also a great deal of people who could not come to the game but were very supportive and very excited to hear all of the details of the day! I am so blessed with so many great friends who have walked this journey with me and enjoyed this time of excitement!
I took the bat, ball, and jersey to my school last week and had "show and tell" with the students. They thought it was awesome and wanted to hear every detail! That was fun as well!
Here are some pictures from our big day! It's a day I will never forget!!
Please check out 108stitches.com!!
When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."
Judges 6:12
Thank you mighty prayer warriors!!!
God is So Good!! All the Time!!
Psalm 118:24
Radiation:
So far the radiation treatments are going just fine. As of today, I have had 10 treatments out of 33 total. My skin is a little pink but not too bad. The treatments go pretty fast. My appt is at 7:20 in the morning at Mt. Vernon and I am usually all finished by 7:30/7:35. There have been several days so far that I have gone straight to my school afterwards and worked all day. There have also been several days that I am wiped out and go home and rest all day! My goal is work the remainder of the school year which is until June 4th but I am just taking it one day at a time.
Appointment with my oncologist:
Today I had a follow-up appointment with my oncologist. She discussed 2 possible options for me to consider as far as a "maintenance" plan. One of them is more of a clinical trial and the other is a type of diabetic medicine even though I am not diabetic. I can also choose to do neither of them. Please continue prayers for discernment on what I should do. I will be going back to her in 3 months. I can wait until then to give her my decision or contact her before then if I decide to do one of them.
Also when I go back in 3 months they will do a CT scan.
Honorary Bat Girl!!!
On Sunday, May 18th, I got to be the Honorary Bat Girl for the St. Louis Cardinals! What a great day this was!! It was so much fun and I was thankful that Mike and the girls got to be with me for everything! During the batting practice before the game we got to go on the field and also take some family pictures in the dugout. The Cardinals were not taking their batting practice but the Atlanta Braves were! We also got to meet Jason Motte of the Cardinals! That was so great! He was so nice and talked to us for a long time. He is part of a cancer organization and we talked a lot about that. I also gave him my "Karen's Krew" bracelet that I have been wearing during my entire journey. To see him put on my bracelet and get to talk to him about it and the Judges 6:12 reference that is on the bracelet was pretty cool! I saw a picture of him being interviewed a couple days later and he still had it on! His organization is Kcancer at 108stitches.com if you would like to check it out. There is a player from almost every Major League Baseball team as a representative for the organization to Strike Out cancer!
Right before the game was to begin, I was one of three people who got to go out to the pitcher's mound and throw out a pitch. This was also pretty cool...and a little intimidating!! I was escorted to the pitcher's mound by Fredbird. Because I am still in the healing process from surgery I had to throw the ball underhand. It wasn't the best throw but who cares!! I was on the pitcher's mound..... at Busch Stadium.....before a Cardinals game!!! They then presented me with a pink bat and I also got to keep the ball that I threw. They had also given me a Cardinal's jersey with "Bat Girl" on the back. After all of this we got escorted to our seats and we enjoyed the game. Thank you to the many friends and coworkers who came to support me and cheer me on through this fun time. I cannot tell you how much it meant to me that so many came to the game and were so excited for me! There were also a great deal of people who could not come to the game but were very supportive and very excited to hear all of the details of the day! I am so blessed with so many great friends who have walked this journey with me and enjoyed this time of excitement!
I took the bat, ball, and jersey to my school last week and had "show and tell" with the students. They thought it was awesome and wanted to hear every detail! That was fun as well!
Here are some pictures from our big day! It's a day I will never forget!!
Please check out 108stitches.com!!
When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."
Judges 6:12
Thank you mighty prayer warriors!!!
God is So Good!! All the Time!!
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Going to Bat Against Breast Cancer!
John 13:34-35
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Quick update: I had the CT scan today where they placed "markers" for the radiation treatments. For this scan I had to reach my hands up over my head and hold on to some handles. I will be completely honest....it hurt! I have been doing so many arm exercises to try to have more mobility and have really been making progress but today just showed me that I still have a lot of work to do. It is mainly my left arm and shoulder. I go back in a week to possibly do the 'dry run' and if everything goes well they might even do the first treatment on that day. We'll see!
BIG NEWS!
I really want to share some exciting and fun news! Have I already said how much my school rocks?! Well they have really done it this time! A coworker/FRIEND nominated me for the St. Louis Cardinals Honorary Bat Girl contest......and........ I (we) won!!!!!!! Ohhhhh myyyyyyy goshhhhhhhh!!
The Honorary Bat Girl program was introduced in 2009 to raise additional awareness and support for the annual "Going to Bat Against Breast Cancer" initiative celebrated on Mother's Day. Going to Bat Against Breast Cancer is a Major League Baseball initiative supported by its charitable partners Stand Up To Cancer and Susan G. Komen. This initiative raises awareness about the breast cancer cause, while also raising funds to support breast cancer research.
My friend wrote a very sweet and creative nomination entry for me and then encouraged the students, other coworkers, and the community to vote for me. I made it to the top 3 in votes and then there were judges who named me the winner! As the winner I will get to go to an upcoming game and participate in pre-game activities and go on the field for a time of recognition. My students were told today that I won and they were so excited!! I just cannot say enough about my students and coworkers! They have supported me every step of the way and have just shown so much love to me. They wanted this for me so bad and I am truly touched by everything they have done.
If you would like to see the winning entry that was written for me you can click the following link, then click on "meet the winners", and then scroll down to the St. Louis Cardinals. You can also view other winners selected for each Major League Baseball team.
Honorary Bat Girl Winners
What a way to enter in to the final phase of this journey and finish up with such an exciting event!! I do not know which game this all will take place at since the Cards are away on Mother's Day. I am pretty sure it will be a game in May but they have not contacted me about the specifics just yet.
Thank you WGS for making me feel so special!! Your excitement for me just shows how loving you are!
God is SO Good!! All the Time!
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Radiation Soon
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Romans 12:12
Last week on Monday (April 21st) I had a consultation appointment with the radiation oncologist. I don't have a definite date that I will start radiation but I will get the process started next week on Tuesday, May 6th. They will begin by doing a CT scan, set 'markers' for the radiation, and then do a 'dry run' to see if they are satisfied with where the markers are set. (From what I understand, this does not all happen on the same day) After all of that I will be ready to begin with the radiation treatments. I will have 33 treatments which should take 6 1/2 weeks going Monday through Friday except for any holidays. I anticipate that this will take until the end of June but I do not know for sure yet.
I am continuing to get stronger everyday. I have been trying to exercise and take long walks (my dog Max loves the long walks!). My arms are still somewhat limited but hopefully that will not be for much longer! I haven't had much success losing weight but I am trying to be patient with that. My eyebrows and eyelashes continue to grow and the hair on my head is slowly growing (about 1/2 inch). There is a big difference with how my fingernails look now. Before my diagnosis, I would get fake nails because my real nails were very thin and curved under when they grew. During chemo, my nails were very brittle and my fingertips looked almost claw-like which can be a normal side effect. Now though, my nails are growing straight and they are very strong!! I am liking that very much!! I am not yet to the point of calling them pretty nails, but they are most definitely prettier than in the past!!
Since surgery, I have had a few times where my emotions have gotten the best of me. I know that it could be a lingering effect of the chemo and I also think that some of it is from finally being able to "exhale" after these last 7+ months. It usually doesn't last long, but wow, there are times that I cry so easily. Usually I can link it to being tired but let this serve as a warning! Haha! If you see me or are with me and I start crying, just keep acting normal and I will get it under control!! You might have to tell me a joke first, but I WILL stop :)
I have been able to get out more and see people which has been wonderful! I have been able to go to church and I have also been able to go back to my school for some partial days which has been great! I have missed the students and my coworkers so much! They have given me so much strength throughout everything I have been through. They have also been there for each other. This has been a tough year for my school not only with my diagnosis, but some of my coworkers have also faced some serious health issues. Today another coworker became seriously ill. I will not share details but I will ask that you pray for him as you have so diligently prayed for me! Thank you!
May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.
Colossians 1:11-12
God is SO Good! All the Time!
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Progress Update :)
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
~Isaiah 41:10
Well it has been two and a half weeks since I had my surgery (March 19th). It has been a lonnnngggggggg two and a half weeks. I had to have the drainage tubes in for the full 2 weeks after surgery. I got them out on Tuesday, April 1st. One word - HALLELUJAH!!
Immediately after surgery I was feeling pretty good. I was sore but not in a lot of pain. It was this way for about 3 days and then I started feeling more and more pain and soreness. That is when I finally started taking my pain medication which did help to take the edge off of the pain. If I had to describe the pain, it would be like a burning, painful tingling feeling. I think this is because of affected nerve endings. Extremely sensitive to even the slightest touch. A lot of this pain has been in the armpit area. It has felt very tight and I have had limited arm movement. My left arm has been far worse because this was the side where lymph nodes were removed. Since the tubes have been out I have felt some improvement but I am still needing to take the pain medication and still have limited movement with my arms...mostly the left side. (By the way, I am left handed....) I have been told that it could take up to 2 months or more to get full mobility back in my arms. I have some 'exercises' that I have been doing to try to help with this progress.
Despite all of this, I finally got out of the house! Riding in the car isn't fully comfortable but I was really ready to get out and about and have a sense of "normal"! Last night Mike and I went out to eat and to the movies to see "God's Not Dead" which I HIGHLY recommend! What a great movie! I will probably go see it again sometime! Tonight I am going to see Mandisa in concert!!! I am so excited about this! Her song 'Overcomer' has been a huge source of strength and comfort for me!! Tomorrow I will be going to church! I am also very excited about this! In the last 6 months I have been watching the services through live streaming with the exception of 2 times that I got to actually go to the church for services. I am so looking forward to being back!
Coming up next...
I will be starting radiation soon. I am not sure of exact dates yet but it will probably be in around 2-3 weeks. I will be doing that locally and I am pretty sure it will be in Mt. Vernon. I do not know yet how long I will have to have radiation treatments.
The doctors were very pleased with the results of my pathology from the surgery. The surgeon removed a 'pocket' of lymph nodes which ended up being 13 altogether. Out of the 13 lymph nodes that were removed, 4 of them had been affected by the cancer. Of these 4, they did find scattered microscopic unhealthy cancer cells. That is not the ideal finding but they were encouraged by the fact that the cells were scattered (not clustered) and that they were unhealthy (the chemo had zapped them pretty good!). But overall, these unhealthy scattered cells were removed during the surgery!!! THREE times my surgeon said that I was CANCER FREE!! (I had her repeat it for me...I just wanted to hear it over and over!!)
After the radiation my doctors will continue to monitor me every couple months. I am not eligible for a maintenance pill that some patients take for 5 years. This is because of my triple negative diagnosis. I can't really tell you what the triple negative means other than the cancer was not estrogen fed or hormone fed. There is more to it but it is so over my head even though I tried to learn as much as I could.
My doctor does think I am a candidate for a study that is waiting to be approved by the FDA. It will be up to me if I want to be a participant but that is several months in the future. I will pray about it but I am not going to spend a lot of time thinking about it right now.
Doctors orders: try to get things back to normal! Of course it will be a new normal for me but it will be great to be back out in the real world again! Other than the after effects of surgery I am feeling great! I have taken several walks and feel like my legs have their strength back! I need to get exercise from being so inactive for 6 months...the weight has changed more than I would like to admit.
My hair is starting (very slowly) to grow back. I can see a few eyelashes on the top so there is progress being made! It will take a while for all of this but that is okay!! Hearing my surgeon say cancer free seems to make all of that other stuff very minimal!!
We are still very thankful for so much support! For the 2 weeks after surgery we had meals delivered every single day from friends at church. This was incredible and so kind! Our Immanuel family knows how to live love and they have loved us so much!!
God is Good!! All the Time!!
Monday, March 24, 2014
Surgery is Over!
'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'
Isaiah 41:10
Well the surgery is over! Thank Goodness! Praise the Lord! I am SO thankful that this part of the process is over. It really feels like a MAJOR step towards progress!!
I had the surgery last Wednesday (19th) and everything went well. I was in the hospital overnight and got to come home on Thursday (20th). I have been very surprised that I have not been in much pain. I have a total of 3 drainage tubes that make me very sore and I have to move extremely slow. I am wrapped up and have to keep it that way until I go back to the doctor on April 1st. Everyday the drainage tubes have to be emptied 3 times. That is not painful for the most part but can be uncomfortable. They are attached just under my armpits. Just imagine having that skin clamped and have to keep it that way 24/7...not comfortable at all. We have had a home nurse come to help clean the area and just do an overall check-up. She will be back a few more times. I don't know if it is a possibility, but I am really hopeful that she will say the tubes are ready to be taken out sooner than my April 1st appointment. Have I mentioned how uncomfortable the tubes are?! Ughhhhh....!! Ok enough of my whining!! No matter what, I am taking one day at a time and am so thankful to have reached this point so successfully. Here is a picture of what the drainage tubes look like. I have 2 on the left side and 1 on the right side (very bulky!). There is a 'grenade' and the tubing. You still cannot even see all of the tubing....
The surgeon seemed very pleased with how the surgery went. She said that she did NOT see anything suspicious in the breast that had the cancer in it and that all of the tissue looked normal. Hallelujah!!!! She also removed one cluster of lymph nodes and said that they all looked normal except she could tell that one had been affected. It didn't look like it had cancer but it was a little 'different' than the rest. It wasn't something that she was alarmed or suspicious about. I can't remember her exact words but she was very happy with what she saw, and with what she didn't see!! This gave us a great deal of comfort! They will still send everything to pathology and we will get a more detailed report when we go back to see her. I just cannot say enough about my surgeon, Dr. Margenthaler. She is wonderful!!
We have continued to receive such support and love from so many people. Our meals have been taken care of by many of our church family/friends for the two weeks after the surgery. This has been wonderful and so helpful! And so delicious!!
I have not said much so far but I really have to brag on Mike and my girls, Kailey and Cassidy. Throughout the entire process they have been such a source of strength. I KNOW this has not been easy on them, but oh how they have made things easier for me. Mike has juggled his work, my appointments, household work, and now taking care of these drainage tubes and bandages. Even though many have helped us through everything there are just some things that only he can do (or he wants to do). He has also done a lot of research about every phase of this process and remembers the details far better than I can! The girls have also been so wonderful! Dealing with this along with balancing college, jobs, and just being a young adult can not be an easy thing but you would never know it when you are around them. Their faith has provided great strength and comfort for them but Mama Bear still worries that they are okay. I hate that they have even had to go through this and I know that they wish I didn't have to go through any of it. However, we all know that God has and will continue to bring great things from this experience. As of the time of surgery, we have been battling breast cancer for 6 months. We have all tried to stay positive and I think we have succeeded with this for the most part despite some unusual negative circumstances that have also occurred during this 6 month time period. I have never blogged about those things and I won't go in to detail about them now either, but I just want to express how blessed I am to have Mike, Kailey, and Cassidy. We are a team. We go through everything together. We will also celebrate victory together when this is all a distant memory! I am proud of them for how they have given God the Glory every single day! If you want to see a true picture of God's grace (giving what we don't deserve), and God's mercy (not giving what we do deserve), then look no further than my life. I am well aware of how blessed I am and how God has blessed me with His grace and mercy!
I am still just overwhelmed with how people have shown us so much love throughout every single step of this journey! I am thankful and forever grateful! My next step should be radiation although I do not have any details about this yet.
Thank you everyone!
God is SO Good!! All the Time!!
Isaiah 41:10
Well the surgery is over! Thank Goodness! Praise the Lord! I am SO thankful that this part of the process is over. It really feels like a MAJOR step towards progress!!
I had the surgery last Wednesday (19th) and everything went well. I was in the hospital overnight and got to come home on Thursday (20th). I have been very surprised that I have not been in much pain. I have a total of 3 drainage tubes that make me very sore and I have to move extremely slow. I am wrapped up and have to keep it that way until I go back to the doctor on April 1st. Everyday the drainage tubes have to be emptied 3 times. That is not painful for the most part but can be uncomfortable. They are attached just under my armpits. Just imagine having that skin clamped and have to keep it that way 24/7...not comfortable at all. We have had a home nurse come to help clean the area and just do an overall check-up. She will be back a few more times. I don't know if it is a possibility, but I am really hopeful that she will say the tubes are ready to be taken out sooner than my April 1st appointment. Have I mentioned how uncomfortable the tubes are?! Ughhhhh....!! Ok enough of my whining!! No matter what, I am taking one day at a time and am so thankful to have reached this point so successfully. Here is a picture of what the drainage tubes look like. I have 2 on the left side and 1 on the right side (very bulky!). There is a 'grenade' and the tubing. You still cannot even see all of the tubing....
The surgeon seemed very pleased with how the surgery went. She said that she did NOT see anything suspicious in the breast that had the cancer in it and that all of the tissue looked normal. Hallelujah!!!! She also removed one cluster of lymph nodes and said that they all looked normal except she could tell that one had been affected. It didn't look like it had cancer but it was a little 'different' than the rest. It wasn't something that she was alarmed or suspicious about. I can't remember her exact words but she was very happy with what she saw, and with what she didn't see!! This gave us a great deal of comfort! They will still send everything to pathology and we will get a more detailed report when we go back to see her. I just cannot say enough about my surgeon, Dr. Margenthaler. She is wonderful!!
We have continued to receive such support and love from so many people. Our meals have been taken care of by many of our church family/friends for the two weeks after the surgery. This has been wonderful and so helpful! And so delicious!!
I have not said much so far but I really have to brag on Mike and my girls, Kailey and Cassidy. Throughout the entire process they have been such a source of strength. I KNOW this has not been easy on them, but oh how they have made things easier for me. Mike has juggled his work, my appointments, household work, and now taking care of these drainage tubes and bandages. Even though many have helped us through everything there are just some things that only he can do (or he wants to do). He has also done a lot of research about every phase of this process and remembers the details far better than I can! The girls have also been so wonderful! Dealing with this along with balancing college, jobs, and just being a young adult can not be an easy thing but you would never know it when you are around them. Their faith has provided great strength and comfort for them but Mama Bear still worries that they are okay. I hate that they have even had to go through this and I know that they wish I didn't have to go through any of it. However, we all know that God has and will continue to bring great things from this experience. As of the time of surgery, we have been battling breast cancer for 6 months. We have all tried to stay positive and I think we have succeeded with this for the most part despite some unusual negative circumstances that have also occurred during this 6 month time period. I have never blogged about those things and I won't go in to detail about them now either, but I just want to express how blessed I am to have Mike, Kailey, and Cassidy. We are a team. We go through everything together. We will also celebrate victory together when this is all a distant memory! I am proud of them for how they have given God the Glory every single day! If you want to see a true picture of God's grace (giving what we don't deserve), and God's mercy (not giving what we do deserve), then look no further than my life. I am well aware of how blessed I am and how God has blessed me with His grace and mercy!
I am still just overwhelmed with how people have shown us so much love throughout every single step of this journey! I am thankful and forever grateful! My next step should be radiation although I do not have any details about this yet.
Thank you everyone!
God is SO Good!! All the Time!!
Friday, February 28, 2014
Some Fun Encouragement :)
Update
I am feeling better and better each day! The aches and tingly feelings are very mild. I have gotten out of the house twice this week to see my daughter cheer and it has been wonderful!! I have also been able to see some friends at these games! The goal for this weekend is to make it to Sunday School and church although now the weather might interfere with that. We'll see!
My hair has not started growing back yet. Neither have my eyebrows or eyelashes. I tried to wear false eyelashes to one of the games that I went to. It took me 45 minutes to get them on and then they looked terrible!! I almost washed one of them down the drain and by the time I was done with it, it no longer looked like eyelashes. Needless to say, I did not wear the eyelashes!
Video
I want to share this short video with everyone. It is some of my students and coworkers having some fun. They made it for me in hopes of making me smile and brightening my day which it definitely did!! I am so blessed to work with these caring people! They have gone out of their way to make me feel loved and missed and cared for and supported. Truly a blessing!
I hope you will watch! Even if you don't know anyone in it, consider how much joy it brought to me! Such a kind gesture! I haven't been able to see these people in months so it was truly a blessing! I know they had fun putting it together too :)
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.
God is SO Good! All the Time!
I am feeling better and better each day! The aches and tingly feelings are very mild. I have gotten out of the house twice this week to see my daughter cheer and it has been wonderful!! I have also been able to see some friends at these games! The goal for this weekend is to make it to Sunday School and church although now the weather might interfere with that. We'll see!
My hair has not started growing back yet. Neither have my eyebrows or eyelashes. I tried to wear false eyelashes to one of the games that I went to. It took me 45 minutes to get them on and then they looked terrible!! I almost washed one of them down the drain and by the time I was done with it, it no longer looked like eyelashes. Needless to say, I did not wear the eyelashes!
Video
I want to share this short video with everyone. It is some of my students and coworkers having some fun. They made it for me in hopes of making me smile and brightening my day which it definitely did!! I am so blessed to work with these caring people! They have gone out of their way to make me feel loved and missed and cared for and supported. Truly a blessing!
I hope you will watch! Even if you don't know anyone in it, consider how much joy it brought to me! Such a kind gesture! I haven't been able to see these people in months so it was truly a blessing! I know they had fun putting it together too :)
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.
God is SO Good! All the Time!
If you cannot view the video try clicking here: Woodlawn Video :)
Friday, February 21, 2014
Surgery is Scheduled
I am really starting to feel good since my last treatment! I had a couple of really down days where I had a lot of aches and tingling in my arms and legs. Last Sunday (16th) I did not even get out of the bed other than to use the bathroom. I still watched the live streaming services for church (which were wonderful!) but all I wanted was to lay down and rest (or sleep). Monday was a little better. I at least made it to the couch! On Tuesday (18th) I had my consultation with the surgeon. Although I still wasn't feeling the greatest on this day, the appointment went as ideal as I could have asked for it to go!! I will explain a little later! That night was a rough one with the aches and pain. It was the first time throughout this entire process that I have taken Ibuprofen to get some relief. I think it was from the amount of walking and standing I had done the day of my appointment. Under normal circumstances it really would not have been a lot, but one week after a chemo treatment it was a great amount and I felt it during the night! Wednesday I began to feel a little better and it has improved with each passing day! Today (Friday) I still have mild aches and tingling but I am at least able to move around and get some things done.
Consultation with the Surgeon
My surgery is scheduled for Wednesday, March 19. I know that is a long time away but they wait several weeks after your final chemo treatment in order to give your body a chance to recover and blood counts to get back to normal.
My surgeon recommended a mastectomy even though I have responded well to the chemo. Mostly because of the type of cancer that I was diagnosed with. We discussed reconstruction and plastic surgery and I have opted not to go that route. It would add another 6-9 months to this whole process and I am just not interested. I want things to be done and I am okay with having the breast removed. This led to discussion about the other breast. She asked what I wanted to do about that and I said to have it removed also. So this means a double mastectomy without reconstruction or plastic surgery. Yes that means I will be as flat as a board. I have had a lot of time to think about what I would want and to prepare myself as much as possible. I can change my mind anytime before surgery but I really don't see that happening. Even years from now I can go back and have plastic surgery done, but again, I don't see it happening. It will be an adjustment for sure but there are a lot of products out there that I can wear to feel 'normal' if I choose to. I think my peace of mind will be greater as far as lowering my chances for the cancer to return or develop in the other breast had I chosen to keep it. This may not be what a lot of people would have chosen for their body but in the end it is my choice for my body and it was not made hastily. I have prayed throughout everything for guidance and direction. Discussion and decisions that happened at this appointment felt so comfortable and right that I cannot help but feel it was how I was being led to discern things. I will continue to pray about it and I know that if it is not the right decision that God will reveal it to me. So far I am very much at peace and sleeping wonderfully!!
The surgeon also still wants me to have radiation. She said that would be about a month after surgery.
We continue to be amazed at how much love and support we have been given through everything! We are so thankful for the prayers and still welcome them during this next part of the journey!
Praising God for His steadfast Hand guiding us and holding us every single second of this entire process!
I know Who goes before me
I know Who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side.
The One who reigns forever
He is a Friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side!
And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I'm holding onto Your promises
You are faithful
You are faithful
You are faithful!
The God of angel armies is always by my side.
(Whom shall I fear)
God is SO Good! All the Time!
Consultation with the Surgeon
My surgery is scheduled for Wednesday, March 19. I know that is a long time away but they wait several weeks after your final chemo treatment in order to give your body a chance to recover and blood counts to get back to normal.
My surgeon recommended a mastectomy even though I have responded well to the chemo. Mostly because of the type of cancer that I was diagnosed with. We discussed reconstruction and plastic surgery and I have opted not to go that route. It would add another 6-9 months to this whole process and I am just not interested. I want things to be done and I am okay with having the breast removed. This led to discussion about the other breast. She asked what I wanted to do about that and I said to have it removed also. So this means a double mastectomy without reconstruction or plastic surgery. Yes that means I will be as flat as a board. I have had a lot of time to think about what I would want and to prepare myself as much as possible. I can change my mind anytime before surgery but I really don't see that happening. Even years from now I can go back and have plastic surgery done, but again, I don't see it happening. It will be an adjustment for sure but there are a lot of products out there that I can wear to feel 'normal' if I choose to. I think my peace of mind will be greater as far as lowering my chances for the cancer to return or develop in the other breast had I chosen to keep it. This may not be what a lot of people would have chosen for their body but in the end it is my choice for my body and it was not made hastily. I have prayed throughout everything for guidance and direction. Discussion and decisions that happened at this appointment felt so comfortable and right that I cannot help but feel it was how I was being led to discern things. I will continue to pray about it and I know that if it is not the right decision that God will reveal it to me. So far I am very much at peace and sleeping wonderfully!!
The surgeon also still wants me to have radiation. She said that would be about a month after surgery.
We continue to be amazed at how much love and support we have been given through everything! We are so thankful for the prayers and still welcome them during this next part of the journey!
Praising God for His steadfast Hand guiding us and holding us every single second of this entire process!
I know Who goes before me
I know Who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side.
The One who reigns forever
He is a Friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side!
And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I'm holding onto Your promises
You are faithful
You are faithful
You are faithful!
The God of angel armies is always by my side.
(Whom shall I fear)
God is SO Good! All the Time!
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
LAST CHEMO TREATMENT!!
Well the day finally arrived!!! My LAST chemo treatment! HALLELUJAH!! What a wonderful day this has been! Somewhat emotional too!! Everything went great and I got to ring the bell!! (Video below). Then on my way home from St. Louis my wonderful Woodlawn school peeps gave me a wonderful surprise!!! I bawled the whole time! (2nd video below!!). I have also included a 3rd video of mainly screenshots of snapchats, text messages, and some facebook posts. (My daughter has dubbed me the queen of screenshots...I won't deny it!!) These are not nearly all that I have received (or screen shotted!) but I picked out some for this video. I did not include any facebook messages or comments and there have been many of those too! I wasn't going to put other people on this blog but I just couldn't help it!! So many have been so supportive and wonderful! And again, there are SO many more messages that I have received!! (Please don't be offended if I didn't include you or a message you sent!)
It has been a true blessing!! Army of prayer warriors!! And....I just want to add that I pray for you warriors!! My last couple of regular posts (before today) on facebook (not blogs), have received a lot of 'likes' and comments. I just want you to know that I prayed for each person individually and specifically. It took some time, but I have had a great deal of time :)
I tell you this not so you will always like my posts (because I always pray for ANYONE who is supporting and praying for me and my family!!), but instead just so you know that someone has spent time in prayer just for you!! I know how good it is to hear that someone has thought of you and prayed for you!
Today's response has been overwhelming!! I absolutely plan to spend some time in prayer for each of you showing the support!! Again, not trying to get 'likes' haha!! Just thankful, soooooo thankful for you all!!
What's next?
In one week I will have a consultation appointment with my surgeon. That is all I know right now regarding the next step!! I am assuming that we will discuss options and schedule a date for surgery which should be fairly soon. I also have a follow up appointment with my oncologist in six weeks, assuming I have had surgery by then. That appointment could change.
It has been a long chemo journey so far (1st treatment was on October 8th), but now we are moving on to the next part of the journey. I know you are all on this journey with me and my family! THANK YOU!!
God is SO Good! All the Time!
Here are the 3 videos! I hope you will watch all 3 if you have about 11 minutes :)
It has been a true blessing!! Army of prayer warriors!! And....I just want to add that I pray for you warriors!! My last couple of regular posts (before today) on facebook (not blogs), have received a lot of 'likes' and comments. I just want you to know that I prayed for each person individually and specifically. It took some time, but I have had a great deal of time :)
I tell you this not so you will always like my posts (because I always pray for ANYONE who is supporting and praying for me and my family!!), but instead just so you know that someone has spent time in prayer just for you!! I know how good it is to hear that someone has thought of you and prayed for you!
Today's response has been overwhelming!! I absolutely plan to spend some time in prayer for each of you showing the support!! Again, not trying to get 'likes' haha!! Just thankful, soooooo thankful for you all!!
What's next?
In one week I will have a consultation appointment with my surgeon. That is all I know right now regarding the next step!! I am assuming that we will discuss options and schedule a date for surgery which should be fairly soon. I also have a follow up appointment with my oncologist in six weeks, assuming I have had surgery by then. That appointment could change.
It has been a long chemo journey so far (1st treatment was on October 8th), but now we are moving on to the next part of the journey. I know you are all on this journey with me and my family! THANK YOU!!
God is SO Good! All the Time!
Here are the 3 videos! I hope you will watch all 3 if you have about 11 minutes :)
RINGING THE BELL!
WOODLAWN SCHOOL SURPRISE :)
***If you had trouble viewing this video, try clicking here:
SOME PICS THROUGHOUT DIAGNOSIS & CHEMO :)
Monday, February 3, 2014
An Update and An Overdue Thank You
I am,
Holding on to You.
I am,
Holding on to You.
In the middle of the storm,
I am Holding on,
I am!
Update
It has been almost 2 weeks since my last treatment. I have one more week until I go again. I am scheduled to have a treatment on Tuesday, February 11th which is supposed to be my LAST treatment!! Yay!!! Do you notice how I am leaving things open?! I am getting better at being ready for anything that might cause scheduled things to change! But I am still very hopeful that everything will go as scheduled! I am ready to ring that bell :)
For the most part I have been doing really well for the last 2 weeks. The first few days I was on steroid pills so I felt good. Around day 4 after the treatment though I felt very achy and tingly in my arms, legs, and back. It didn't last long in my back thank goodness! But it has taken longer to lighten up in my arms and legs. Today it is still there but not nearly like it was. I feel good enough to be up moving around and even doing some laundry! With each day that passes it seems to get less and less which is a good thing. I am hoping that means that my blood counts are getting better and better!
Within the last 2 weeks though I have pretty much lost my eyebrows. There might be 8 hairs on each side! My eyelashes are thinning as well. I would not be surprised if they are all gone in a week when I go back for that final treatment. My thoughts about all of this? Well of course it stinks, but it also means that the treatment is working and doing what it is supposed to be doing!! That is what I try to keep as my focus. The chemo is working!!! The hair will grow back and I am lucky that it took so long before my eyebrows and eyelashes were affected!
About a week ago I called to check on the roommate I had while in the hospital. She was doing well and should have gotten her 2nd chemo treatment last Thursday (Jan 30th). I am hopeful it went well and will probably call her again soon. She was still so thankful for all of the support from my wonderful army of prayer warriors!!
We have been very blessed with support, kindness, and prayers from so many people! Thank you friends!
God is SO Good! All the Time!
Overdue Thank You!
Love like this, Oh my God to find!
I am overwhelmed what a joy divine!
Love like this sets our hearts on fire!
I am sorry it has taken me so long to post about this but I really want to thank my coworkers and students at WGS along with the communities of Woodlawn and Sesser!
On December 18, 2013 they planned a Pink Out basketball game for me with BBQ dinners and very nice raffle gift baskets. Keep in mind that this is one week before Christmas when things can be crazy busy and these people gave of their time and of their money! Woodlawn sponsored the event but the Sesser community donated a raffle basket and many also came to eat the dinner and participate in the Pink Out. I have truly been touched at the generosity of so many people!! Although I was unable to attend the event, I was able to FaceTime during the dinner and see so many friends which was wonderful!! I also received several pictures and snapchats of the event so I could still "participate" and feel like I was there! This was so wonderful and I cannot even say enough about the generosity of these people!
I have kept things somewhat general by not showing pictures of the Pink Out or giving the names of people who worked so hard at putting it together. Throughout all of my blogs I have not named people specifically because 1) I would want their permission first even though I doubt anyone would mind, and 2) I don't ever want the possibility of inadvertently leaving someone out!
So instead I am just giving a HUGE shout out of thanks to those who were involved in any way!! They know who they are and they know how AWESOME I think they are! I am very fortunate to have such giving coworkers and students, and to work in such a caring community!! Thank you again WGS, Woodlawn, and Sesser! (and anyone else involved!!)
I am still hooked on the David Crowder song so I am sharing it again!
The link and the lyrics! :)
Click here to hear the song :)
"I Am"
Holding on to You.
I am,
Holding on to You.
In the middle of the storm,
I am Holding on,
I am!
Update
It has been almost 2 weeks since my last treatment. I have one more week until I go again. I am scheduled to have a treatment on Tuesday, February 11th which is supposed to be my LAST treatment!! Yay!!! Do you notice how I am leaving things open?! I am getting better at being ready for anything that might cause scheduled things to change! But I am still very hopeful that everything will go as scheduled! I am ready to ring that bell :)
For the most part I have been doing really well for the last 2 weeks. The first few days I was on steroid pills so I felt good. Around day 4 after the treatment though I felt very achy and tingly in my arms, legs, and back. It didn't last long in my back thank goodness! But it has taken longer to lighten up in my arms and legs. Today it is still there but not nearly like it was. I feel good enough to be up moving around and even doing some laundry! With each day that passes it seems to get less and less which is a good thing. I am hoping that means that my blood counts are getting better and better!
Within the last 2 weeks though I have pretty much lost my eyebrows. There might be 8 hairs on each side! My eyelashes are thinning as well. I would not be surprised if they are all gone in a week when I go back for that final treatment. My thoughts about all of this? Well of course it stinks, but it also means that the treatment is working and doing what it is supposed to be doing!! That is what I try to keep as my focus. The chemo is working!!! The hair will grow back and I am lucky that it took so long before my eyebrows and eyelashes were affected!
About a week ago I called to check on the roommate I had while in the hospital. She was doing well and should have gotten her 2nd chemo treatment last Thursday (Jan 30th). I am hopeful it went well and will probably call her again soon. She was still so thankful for all of the support from my wonderful army of prayer warriors!!
We have been very blessed with support, kindness, and prayers from so many people! Thank you friends!
God is SO Good! All the Time!
Overdue Thank You!
Love like this, Oh my God to find!
I am overwhelmed what a joy divine!
Love like this sets our hearts on fire!
On December 18, 2013 they planned a Pink Out basketball game for me with BBQ dinners and very nice raffle gift baskets. Keep in mind that this is one week before Christmas when things can be crazy busy and these people gave of their time and of their money! Woodlawn sponsored the event but the Sesser community donated a raffle basket and many also came to eat the dinner and participate in the Pink Out. I have truly been touched at the generosity of so many people!! Although I was unable to attend the event, I was able to FaceTime during the dinner and see so many friends which was wonderful!! I also received several pictures and snapchats of the event so I could still "participate" and feel like I was there! This was so wonderful and I cannot even say enough about the generosity of these people!
I have kept things somewhat general by not showing pictures of the Pink Out or giving the names of people who worked so hard at putting it together. Throughout all of my blogs I have not named people specifically because 1) I would want their permission first even though I doubt anyone would mind, and 2) I don't ever want the possibility of inadvertently leaving someone out!
So instead I am just giving a HUGE shout out of thanks to those who were involved in any way!! They know who they are and they know how AWESOME I think they are! I am very fortunate to have such giving coworkers and students, and to work in such a caring community!! Thank you again WGS, Woodlawn, and Sesser! (and anyone else involved!!)
I am still hooked on the David Crowder song so I am sharing it again!
The link and the lyrics! :)
Click here to hear the song :)
"I Am"
There’s no space that His love can’t reach
There’s no place that we can’t find peace
There’s no end to Amazing Grace
Take me in with your arms spread wide
Take me in like an orphan child
Never let go, never leave my side.
I am,
Holding on to You.
I am,
Holding on to You.
In the middle of the storm,
I am Holding on,
I am!
Love like this, Oh my God to find!
I am overwhelmed what a joy divine!
Love like this sets our hearts on fire!
This is my Resurrection Song
This is my Hallelujah Come
This is why it's to You I run
This is my Resurrection Song
This is my Hallelujah Come
This is why it's to You I run
There’s no space that His love can’t reach
There’s no place that we can’t find peace
There’s no end to Amazing Grace!
There’s no place that we can’t find peace
There’s no end to Amazing Grace
Take me in with your arms spread wide
Take me in like an orphan child
Never let go, never leave my side.
I am,
Holding on to You.
I am,
Holding on to You.
In the middle of the storm,
I am Holding on,
I am!
Love like this, Oh my God to find!
I am overwhelmed what a joy divine!
Love like this sets our hearts on fire!
This is my Resurrection Song
This is my Hallelujah Come
This is why it's to You I run
This is my Resurrection Song
This is my Hallelujah Come
This is why it's to You I run
There’s no space that His love can’t reach
There’s no place that we can’t find peace
There’s no end to Amazing Grace!
This song makes me want to do a Hallelujah happy dance!
Listen to it! It will put a smile on your face and hopefully a peaceful feeling in your heart :)
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
No Treatment? Doctor Says Otherwise :)
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. "
Philippians 4:6-7
Just an update on my visit with my doctor yesterday. My blood work looked really good! All counts were up which was wonderful news to hear! The infection seems to be gone! Thank you Lord!! My doctor was really pleased with how things were looking and that the infection had cleared. I was still taking antibiotic so I was just expecting to go home after seeing the doctor. When I was at the hospital they kept telling me that I would not have a treatment on Tuesady (21st) because I would still be taking the antibiotic. However, I did get a treatment yesterday!! Since the infection had cleared, my blood counts looked good, and I was near the end of my antibiotic, my doctor said she felt I was ready for a treatment and could handle it. This is exactly why I have tried to train my brain to be ready for anything!! Things can change so quickly!
Also, my doctor has changed my treatment schedule. Since I was not handling the weekly treatments with my blood counts all over the place and having to miss treatments, my doctor decided to go back to her original plan of treatments every 3 weeks. It will be a stronger dose with more recovery time. I will take 2 steroid pills for 3 days and then I anticipate the fatigue to set in (hopefully no nausea!) Going every 3 weeks will also allow me to take the Neulasta shot again which I responded well to during the first Phase of chemo treatments! I give myself one shot the day after treatment (today).
I was basically down to 6 weeks of treatments left. So I had the treatment yesterday and I will not go back until 3 weeks from now which should be February 11th. (As long as I don't have any trouble in between. Positive thoughts and prayers that everything will go well!!)
This also means that on February 11th when I go back.....wait for it.....drum roll......it will be my LAST CHEMO TREATMENT!!! Yayyyyyyy!!! Woohoo!!! I am SO happy to be able to say that!!
I will be doing the Hallelujah Happy Dance!!! (I already am a little!!)
I am taking one day at a time so I can not really say what will happen after chemo. I know surgery will happen but I do not know what kind or when. My doctor wants to make an appointment with the surgeon after my last treatment. They had also told me that they wait at least a month after the last treatment to have the surgery in order to give my body time to recover. I will keep you all posted as I learn more! Also, I am pretty sure that after surgery I will have a month of radiation. Remember how I said things change quickly! All of this is tentative but reflects what I have been told so far.
Today I called the roommate that I had while in the hospital to see how she has been doing and to let her know that she has an Army of Prayer Warriors in all of you and will be supported through her journey as well. She was so appreciative and so sweet! She was doing well and will have her next treatment on January 30th and take her shot on the 31st. The shot is what made her sick last time so praying she does well with the next one. She was a little bummed because she has now lost her hair but we talked through that some. While in the hospital she told me she planned to "rock that bald head" haha!! But I think she has realized that it is easier said than done!! I still don't rock the bald head and probably never will! Haha!
I don't plan to wait 3 weeks to post more blogs. I have some things I want to post about that are overdue so I will probably use this time to tell about them.
Thank you all once again for the support and prayers! God is answering those prayers and may He be glorified through all of this!
God is SO Good!! All The Time!
I also want to share one of my new favorite songs by David Crowder called "I am"! The words perfectly match my feelings while going through this battle but also beyond that! The link is below and I have also shared the lyrics. What a great uplifting song! Music can be so helpful in our worship for the Lord!
To hear the song, click on this link! It's Awesome!
"I Am"
(performed by Crowder)
[Verse 1:]
There’s no space that His love can’t reach
There’s no place that we can’t find peace
There’s no end to Amazing Grace
Take me in with your arms spread wide
Take me in like an orphan child
Never let go, never leave my side.
[Chorus: (2X)]
I am,
Holding on to You.
I am,
Holding on to You.
In the middle of the storm,
I am Holding on,
I am!
[Verse 2:]
Love like this, Oh my God to find!
I am overwhelmed what a joy divine!
Love like this sets our hearts on fire!
[Chorus: (2X)]
[Verse 3:]
This is my Resurrection Song
This is my Hallelujah Come
This is why to You I run
This is my Resurrection Song
This is my Hallelujah Come
This is why to You I run
There’s no space that His love can’t reach
There’s no place that we can’t find peace
There’s no end to Amazing Grace
There’s no space that His love can’t reach
There’s no place that we can’t find peace
There’s no end to Amazing Grace
Take me in with your arms spread wide
Take me in like an orphan child
Never let go, never leave my side.
[Chorus: (2X)]
I am,
Holding on to You.
I am,
Holding on to You.
In the middle of the storm,
I am Holding on,
I am!
[Verse 2:]
Love like this, Oh my God to find!
I am overwhelmed what a joy divine!
Love like this sets our hearts on fire!
[Chorus: (2X)]
[Verse 3:]
This is my Resurrection Song
This is my Hallelujah Come
This is why to You I run
This is my Resurrection Song
This is my Hallelujah Come
This is why to You I run
There’s no space that His love can’t reach
There’s no place that we can’t find peace
There’s no end to Amazing Grace
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Hospital Visit Instead of a Treatment
“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Matthew 11: 28-30
I don't even know where to start! The last couple of days have not been easy and I am thankful to be back home! The bottom line is that I had an infection, was admitted to the hospital Tuesday (14th) for initial treatment of the infection, got to come home Wednesday (15th). I did not have a chemo treatment because of this infection. I will not have a treatment next Tuesday (21st) either because I will still be on an antibiotic. However I will still have an appointment with my oncologist next Tuesday!
During this time there were an abundance of answered prayers, many wonderful stories, and many blessings!! If you want to know about the details of my stay, or about those wonderful stories and answered prayers...keep reading. I have a lot to tell about!! :)
The week since my last treatment:
My last treatment was on Tuesday, January 7th. Since my white cell count was low that day I had to give myself a shot a day for the 5 days following the treatment. All of that went fine and I actually felt pretty good on those days! Sunday, January 12th was my last shot. All was going good. Monday morning I noticed my left breast (where the cancer is) had a little pinkness to it and I thought maybe I had just put pressure on it while sleeping or something. That day, I was really more concerned about my dog who had been scratched in the eye by a cat and had to have surgery and stitches. (This happened in our own fenced in back yard. We don't have a cat. Not a fan of cats. Especially now!) Anyway, by the evening, there was even more pinkness. While trying to sleep that night it became very sore and sensitive to even my shirt brushing against it. I had an appointment with my oncologist on Tuesday, Janueary 14th (the next morning) so I knew I could talk to her about it. I was concerned because of how fast things changed. My doctor thought it was an infection but couldn't know for sure until I had some antibiotic to see if these symptoms changed. The unnerving part was wondering what it meant if the symptoms did not change with antibiotic. My doctor wasn't able to give me a concrete answer about that concern. (I never thought I would pray to have an infection, but that is what I started doing.) Then she explained further that the antibiotic needed to be given through IV to go directly into my system so we could find out results quicker. This meant being admitted to the hospital at Barnes-Jewish Cancer Center.
The medical details of my stay at the hospital:
They started my first dose of antibiotic at around 1:30 in the afternoon. (I thought it was going to be continuous through the IV but it wasn't). It was going to take over an hour for the dosage to go through the IV so Mike left to get me some things I might need for the night. The look on his face when he returned about an hour later was priceless. I had had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic and I guess my face was RED...more than sunburnt red...like dark red paint red! The nurse happened to come in not long after and said it is a common allergic reaction called "Red Man Syndrome"...go figure. She stopped the IV and the redness went away within 30 minutes. Sorry, don't have any pics! Because of the reaction, it was debated on whether to continue doses every 12 hours or every 24 hours, but I would still get the same antibiotic. As of 6 o'clock that night the decision was 24 hours which would have meant a longer stay in the hospital. But by 7:30 that night the decision was back to 12 hours so my next dosage would start around 1:30 in the morning. They made it so the antibiotic would be given slower and also with a saline solution (I think?) to dilute it a little in hopes of no other reaction, but, I still had a slight reaction with redness to my forehead. Benedryl to the rescue.
I could save myself a lot of the roller coaster of emotions if I would just learn to not decide how I think things are going to go. I had just determined in my mind that after 2 doses of a strong antibiotic through an IV meant I was going to see some major changes by the next day. False. Wrong. The doctor never said that! So why did I think it? Because my oncologist said that antibiotic through the IV would give quicker results...translation by Karen Neal : a couple of doses through the IV and this infection should be almost gone. Oh my goodness I am my own worst enemy sometimes!!
By the next morning there was only slight improvement in the soreness and I really wasn't sure about changes in the pinkness even though the doctor had outlined it on my skin with an ink pen to be able to monitor any changes. The doctor checked on me around 10 that morning and when she looked at everything, she saw progress! Thank goodness!! I had a great doctor there and she was SO patient with me because that is when I started asking more detailed questions (with tears flowing) and tried not to translate her answers into Karen Neal's language!! I had questions about how soon I could expect to see more visible progress, how long before the pinkness would go away, why didn't we see drastic changes, how many more doses of antibiotic did they plan to give me, etc...so many questions! I was just planning on getting my next dose around 1:30 that afternoon but at around noon the nurse told me I was going to get a pill form of an antibiotic soon and that I was going home later that day!!! Woohoo!! That was a great moment! Every 6 hours I now take a pill form of an antibiotic for the next week. I knew being in the hospital was what was needed but I do not like being away from my family and friends! I was released around 3pm and home by about 5:30.
My roommate at the hospital:
I will never really be able to describe her accurately enough but she was a sweet women! She was 44 and in the hospital because she got sick after her 1st chemo treatment. She had been in the hospital since early Saturday morning around 1am. Those are details that I think are important to know with other things I want to say about her. She was very open about her situation so she would tell you more than that if you would meet her!! I really believe that God orchestrates things and this is such an example! The roommate she had previously was moved to a different room the morning I was admitted. She and I think that that is because we were supposed to meet each other! My thoughts go further than that. I think that I was supposed to be her roommate so that she could be a part of the time I had with my visitors and my family. I had two friends come see me Tuesday night and not only did they show me love, encouragement, and support but they showed my roommate the same. As if they had been friends for years! Wednesday morning my pastor and a deacon friend came to see me to also offer encouragement, scripture, and prayer. My roommate was a part of some of the conversation with them and my pastor got a bit of time to speak with her! This is God's work so perfectly orchestrated! Later Wednesday I had two more friends come visit and offer encouragement and support for me and they also showed great love for my roommate. They had brought with them a book of encouraging scripture along with a Chris Tomlin CD. My friends were going to give those gifts to me but it did not take long into the visit for all of us to know that my roommate was the one who should get these gifts.
While we are both believers in Jesus Christ, my roommate and I live very different lives. She is a believer who has moved away from her 'home' church and has not found a new church to go to. She does not have near the support system that I have been so blessed with. My stay at the hospital was approximately 28 hours. During this time I had 6 visitors (with more scheduled if I would have stayed longer) and my husband there with me. I also had FaceTime with both of my girls (which my roommate was a part of also!), so many text messages, and several phone calls. During those 28 hours she did not have a single visitor of her own. I know that she had a couple of visitors previously (the pastor from that 'home' church of hers drove 3 hours to see her!!) and I know that it doesn't mean anything against her family. She has 2 grandbabies living in her home that her family needed to take care of and she did not want them around any sickness at a hospital. I still just felt a little sad for her. I had told friends that a visit was not necessary but now I see just how important they were....for me and for my roommate!
I am sorry to not post earlier with details and information. I really did not have enough information and probably wouldn't have accurately given the information that I did have.
Thank you once again my Army of Prayer Warriors!! Please continue the prayers and remember my roommate if you will! Even though I didn't give her name, God will know who you are praying for!!
God is SO Good!! All the Time!!
Matthew 11: 28-30
I don't even know where to start! The last couple of days have not been easy and I am thankful to be back home! The bottom line is that I had an infection, was admitted to the hospital Tuesday (14th) for initial treatment of the infection, got to come home Wednesday (15th). I did not have a chemo treatment because of this infection. I will not have a treatment next Tuesday (21st) either because I will still be on an antibiotic. However I will still have an appointment with my oncologist next Tuesday!
During this time there were an abundance of answered prayers, many wonderful stories, and many blessings!! If you want to know about the details of my stay, or about those wonderful stories and answered prayers...keep reading. I have a lot to tell about!! :)
The week since my last treatment:
My last treatment was on Tuesday, January 7th. Since my white cell count was low that day I had to give myself a shot a day for the 5 days following the treatment. All of that went fine and I actually felt pretty good on those days! Sunday, January 12th was my last shot. All was going good. Monday morning I noticed my left breast (where the cancer is) had a little pinkness to it and I thought maybe I had just put pressure on it while sleeping or something. That day, I was really more concerned about my dog who had been scratched in the eye by a cat and had to have surgery and stitches. (This happened in our own fenced in back yard. We don't have a cat. Not a fan of cats. Especially now!) Anyway, by the evening, there was even more pinkness. While trying to sleep that night it became very sore and sensitive to even my shirt brushing against it. I had an appointment with my oncologist on Tuesday, Janueary 14th (the next morning) so I knew I could talk to her about it. I was concerned because of how fast things changed. My doctor thought it was an infection but couldn't know for sure until I had some antibiotic to see if these symptoms changed. The unnerving part was wondering what it meant if the symptoms did not change with antibiotic. My doctor wasn't able to give me a concrete answer about that concern. (I never thought I would pray to have an infection, but that is what I started doing.) Then she explained further that the antibiotic needed to be given through IV to go directly into my system so we could find out results quicker. This meant being admitted to the hospital at Barnes-Jewish Cancer Center.
The medical details of my stay at the hospital:
They started my first dose of antibiotic at around 1:30 in the afternoon. (I thought it was going to be continuous through the IV but it wasn't). It was going to take over an hour for the dosage to go through the IV so Mike left to get me some things I might need for the night. The look on his face when he returned about an hour later was priceless. I had had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic and I guess my face was RED...more than sunburnt red...like dark red paint red! The nurse happened to come in not long after and said it is a common allergic reaction called "Red Man Syndrome"...go figure. She stopped the IV and the redness went away within 30 minutes. Sorry, don't have any pics! Because of the reaction, it was debated on whether to continue doses every 12 hours or every 24 hours, but I would still get the same antibiotic. As of 6 o'clock that night the decision was 24 hours which would have meant a longer stay in the hospital. But by 7:30 that night the decision was back to 12 hours so my next dosage would start around 1:30 in the morning. They made it so the antibiotic would be given slower and also with a saline solution (I think?) to dilute it a little in hopes of no other reaction, but, I still had a slight reaction with redness to my forehead. Benedryl to the rescue.
I could save myself a lot of the roller coaster of emotions if I would just learn to not decide how I think things are going to go. I had just determined in my mind that after 2 doses of a strong antibiotic through an IV meant I was going to see some major changes by the next day. False. Wrong. The doctor never said that! So why did I think it? Because my oncologist said that antibiotic through the IV would give quicker results...translation by Karen Neal : a couple of doses through the IV and this infection should be almost gone. Oh my goodness I am my own worst enemy sometimes!!
By the next morning there was only slight improvement in the soreness and I really wasn't sure about changes in the pinkness even though the doctor had outlined it on my skin with an ink pen to be able to monitor any changes. The doctor checked on me around 10 that morning and when she looked at everything, she saw progress! Thank goodness!! I had a great doctor there and she was SO patient with me because that is when I started asking more detailed questions (with tears flowing) and tried not to translate her answers into Karen Neal's language!! I had questions about how soon I could expect to see more visible progress, how long before the pinkness would go away, why didn't we see drastic changes, how many more doses of antibiotic did they plan to give me, etc...so many questions! I was just planning on getting my next dose around 1:30 that afternoon but at around noon the nurse told me I was going to get a pill form of an antibiotic soon and that I was going home later that day!!! Woohoo!! That was a great moment! Every 6 hours I now take a pill form of an antibiotic for the next week. I knew being in the hospital was what was needed but I do not like being away from my family and friends! I was released around 3pm and home by about 5:30.
My roommate at the hospital:
I will never really be able to describe her accurately enough but she was a sweet women! She was 44 and in the hospital because she got sick after her 1st chemo treatment. She had been in the hospital since early Saturday morning around 1am. Those are details that I think are important to know with other things I want to say about her. She was very open about her situation so she would tell you more than that if you would meet her!! I really believe that God orchestrates things and this is such an example! The roommate she had previously was moved to a different room the morning I was admitted. She and I think that that is because we were supposed to meet each other! My thoughts go further than that. I think that I was supposed to be her roommate so that she could be a part of the time I had with my visitors and my family. I had two friends come see me Tuesday night and not only did they show me love, encouragement, and support but they showed my roommate the same. As if they had been friends for years! Wednesday morning my pastor and a deacon friend came to see me to also offer encouragement, scripture, and prayer. My roommate was a part of some of the conversation with them and my pastor got a bit of time to speak with her! This is God's work so perfectly orchestrated! Later Wednesday I had two more friends come visit and offer encouragement and support for me and they also showed great love for my roommate. They had brought with them a book of encouraging scripture along with a Chris Tomlin CD. My friends were going to give those gifts to me but it did not take long into the visit for all of us to know that my roommate was the one who should get these gifts.
While we are both believers in Jesus Christ, my roommate and I live very different lives. She is a believer who has moved away from her 'home' church and has not found a new church to go to. She does not have near the support system that I have been so blessed with. My stay at the hospital was approximately 28 hours. During this time I had 6 visitors (with more scheduled if I would have stayed longer) and my husband there with me. I also had FaceTime with both of my girls (which my roommate was a part of also!), so many text messages, and several phone calls. During those 28 hours she did not have a single visitor of her own. I know that she had a couple of visitors previously (the pastor from that 'home' church of hers drove 3 hours to see her!!) and I know that it doesn't mean anything against her family. She has 2 grandbabies living in her home that her family needed to take care of and she did not want them around any sickness at a hospital. I still just felt a little sad for her. I had told friends that a visit was not necessary but now I see just how important they were....for me and for my roommate!
I am sorry to not post earlier with details and information. I really did not have enough information and probably wouldn't have accurately given the information that I did have.
Thank you once again my Army of Prayer Warriors!! Please continue the prayers and remember my roommate if you will! Even though I didn't give her name, God will know who you are praying for!!
God is SO Good!! All the Time!!
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Treatment 6 Comes With Shots...
Today I was able to have Treatment #6! Yay!! Even though last week would have been treatment 5 and I did not get to have it, I am still referring to today as #6. It is the 6th week and this way I can say I am at the halfway point of Phase 2!! (although I still might have to make up last week's treatment...we will wait and see!)
There was about a 30 minute window today when I didn't think I would be getting a treatment,,,again. My white blood cell count is still down below the allowable limit to get a treatment. However, my doctor approved the treatment and prescribed a shot that is similar to the Neulasta shot that I gave myself during the Phase 1 of chemo. The difference is that I will be giving myself this shot every day for 5 days. (The Neulasta shot was 1 time every 2 weeks). The shot is to help my body build up the white blood cell count. Prayers needed that it works!!
I think I got some things mixed up last week too. Last week I got a blood transfusion of just the red blood cells because that count was low. I thought that was why I didn't get a treatment last week and that was incorrect. Last week I didn't get a treatment because of how low the white blood cell count was. I think my doctor was hoping that the white blood count level would go up by today but it didn't....it went down more.
I am happy that I was able to get a treatment today! Also, my red blood cell count was good as well as the platelet count! Now if I can just get those white cells to increase!
I have felt really good the last few days and am feeling good today too. Not sure what the week will bring but I am taking it one day at a time and fully relying on God to give me strength!!
Thank you for your prayers!
It seems that I always hear a song on the way to St.Louis that really speaks a message to me. Today it was one that many of you have sent to me as encouragement.
It was Building 429, "We Won't Be Shaken".
Whatever will come our way
Through fire or pouring rain
We won't be shaken
No we won't be shaken
Whatever tomorrow brings
Together we'll rise and sing
That we won't be shaken
No we won't be shaken
We will trust in You
We will not be moved
We will trust in You
And we won't be shaken.
Such a great message!
God is Good!! All the Time!!
There was about a 30 minute window today when I didn't think I would be getting a treatment,,,again. My white blood cell count is still down below the allowable limit to get a treatment. However, my doctor approved the treatment and prescribed a shot that is similar to the Neulasta shot that I gave myself during the Phase 1 of chemo. The difference is that I will be giving myself this shot every day for 5 days. (The Neulasta shot was 1 time every 2 weeks). The shot is to help my body build up the white blood cell count. Prayers needed that it works!!
I think I got some things mixed up last week too. Last week I got a blood transfusion of just the red blood cells because that count was low. I thought that was why I didn't get a treatment last week and that was incorrect. Last week I didn't get a treatment because of how low the white blood cell count was. I think my doctor was hoping that the white blood count level would go up by today but it didn't....it went down more.
I am happy that I was able to get a treatment today! Also, my red blood cell count was good as well as the platelet count! Now if I can just get those white cells to increase!
I have felt really good the last few days and am feeling good today too. Not sure what the week will bring but I am taking it one day at a time and fully relying on God to give me strength!!
Thank you for your prayers!
It seems that I always hear a song on the way to St.Louis that really speaks a message to me. Today it was one that many of you have sent to me as encouragement.
It was Building 429, "We Won't Be Shaken".
Whatever will come our way
Through fire or pouring rain
We won't be shaken
No we won't be shaken
Whatever tomorrow brings
Together we'll rise and sing
That we won't be shaken
No we won't be shaken
We will trust in You
We will not be moved
We will trust in You
And we won't be shaken.
Such a great message!
God is Good!! All the Time!!
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Updates - Missed Treatment - Transfusion
Well a lot has happened since my last post on December 23, 2013 which was the date of treatment #4 for me. Usually 2 days after a treatment I am the most tired and that time was no exception. So Christmas day was a combination of feeling tired, feeling nauseous for the first time, and yet completely enjoying my family and opening gifts. My girls got me a beautiful ring which I have posted a picture of at the end of this post. I felt a little better each day after this. I had a tingling feeling in my legs and arms that didn't seem to get better though.
On Tuesday, December 31st, (New Year's Eve) I had my next appointment for what was supposed to be treatment #5 but, what I had been anticipating was finally going to happen. I knew it was coming, I just didn't know when. My blood counts, specifically my red blood cell counts, were too low and I was not going to be able to get a treatment. Instead, my doctor wanted me to have a blood transfusion because of how low the counts were. The Siteman Center has been so good to us and this day was no exception. They made some pretty fast changes in plans and were able to arrange for me to have the transfusion that day so we didn't have to come back a different day. We just had to go to their other location at the hospital.
So, what's it like to get a transfusion? This was a first for me. It really didn't seem much different than getting my usual chemo treatment. They just hooked me up with an IV drip through my port, and I just sat there (slept a little!). I had to get 2 units of blood. One thing that I learned was that they can separate the different kinds of blood cells and give me just the red blood cells. Interesting. We are learning a lot as we go. Another thing that I learned was that it takes a lot less time to give blood than to receive it. Each unit of blood took about an hour and a half to go through the IV drip. They also gave me Tylenol and Benedryl about 30 minutes before they could start the transfusion in case there was any kind of reaction or possible fever....neither happened thank goodness! That night we got home by about 9:30 pm and just rested and watched the ball drop in New York. I did stay up until midnight to wish my girls a Happy New Year!
The next day, New Year's Day, I was already feeling a difference in a good way! I then realized just how low energy and tired I had been the previous week. And...I was already feeling less of that tingling feeling in my legs and arms which is a very good thing!
Thursday started out good but by late afternoon I started feeling sick. For the first time since everything has begun, I got sick. Not to be too graphic....but I could have given the Pitch Perfect girl a run for her money as far as volume was concerned. Sorry!! Too far? Haha! (The bad thing is I had that thought while I was getting sick!). Perhaps I have watched the movie too many times! Anyway...back to being serious...at first I thought it might have been because of a migraine headache that had developed but now I think it was a bug of some kind. The good news is it didn't last long. I went to bed early, slept all night, and woke up feeling really good (which would have been yesterday). So yesterday and today have been really good!! Last night I even told Mike that I was feeling as close to 'normal' as I could and hadn't felt that way in a really long time. Thank you blood transfusion!
I am hoping that each day continues to be better and better and that this coming Tuesday (7th) I am able to get a treatment. I am also interested to see how all of my counts are by then. I am not sure if the treatment I missed will be made up or just skipped altogether. I think it will depend on how the rest of the scheduled treatments go...if I have to miss anymore, or get anymore transfusions.
As I said in my facebook post, I am really thankful for those who give blood. It makes a difference and it definitely helped me!
Thank you again for all of the support and prayers!
I know that God is with me every second of every day! He gives me strength!!
On our way to St. Louis on New Year's Eve, I heard a song by Kari Jobe that I absolutely love called "Steady My Heart" and I tweeted the following part of her song:
"I'm not gonna worry. I know that You've got me right inside the palm of Your hand.
You steady my heart!"
Little did I know just how much peace and steadiness He was going give me that day!
But God knew :)
God is so Good!! All the Time!!
The ring from my beautiful girls! :)
On Tuesday, December 31st, (New Year's Eve) I had my next appointment for what was supposed to be treatment #5 but, what I had been anticipating was finally going to happen. I knew it was coming, I just didn't know when. My blood counts, specifically my red blood cell counts, were too low and I was not going to be able to get a treatment. Instead, my doctor wanted me to have a blood transfusion because of how low the counts were. The Siteman Center has been so good to us and this day was no exception. They made some pretty fast changes in plans and were able to arrange for me to have the transfusion that day so we didn't have to come back a different day. We just had to go to their other location at the hospital.
So, what's it like to get a transfusion? This was a first for me. It really didn't seem much different than getting my usual chemo treatment. They just hooked me up with an IV drip through my port, and I just sat there (slept a little!). I had to get 2 units of blood. One thing that I learned was that they can separate the different kinds of blood cells and give me just the red blood cells. Interesting. We are learning a lot as we go. Another thing that I learned was that it takes a lot less time to give blood than to receive it. Each unit of blood took about an hour and a half to go through the IV drip. They also gave me Tylenol and Benedryl about 30 minutes before they could start the transfusion in case there was any kind of reaction or possible fever....neither happened thank goodness! That night we got home by about 9:30 pm and just rested and watched the ball drop in New York. I did stay up until midnight to wish my girls a Happy New Year!
The next day, New Year's Day, I was already feeling a difference in a good way! I then realized just how low energy and tired I had been the previous week. And...I was already feeling less of that tingling feeling in my legs and arms which is a very good thing!
Thursday started out good but by late afternoon I started feeling sick. For the first time since everything has begun, I got sick. Not to be too graphic....but I could have given the Pitch Perfect girl a run for her money as far as volume was concerned. Sorry!! Too far? Haha! (The bad thing is I had that thought while I was getting sick!). Perhaps I have watched the movie too many times! Anyway...back to being serious...at first I thought it might have been because of a migraine headache that had developed but now I think it was a bug of some kind. The good news is it didn't last long. I went to bed early, slept all night, and woke up feeling really good (which would have been yesterday). So yesterday and today have been really good!! Last night I even told Mike that I was feeling as close to 'normal' as I could and hadn't felt that way in a really long time. Thank you blood transfusion!
I am hoping that each day continues to be better and better and that this coming Tuesday (7th) I am able to get a treatment. I am also interested to see how all of my counts are by then. I am not sure if the treatment I missed will be made up or just skipped altogether. I think it will depend on how the rest of the scheduled treatments go...if I have to miss anymore, or get anymore transfusions.
As I said in my facebook post, I am really thankful for those who give blood. It makes a difference and it definitely helped me!
Thank you again for all of the support and prayers!
I know that God is with me every second of every day! He gives me strength!!
On our way to St. Louis on New Year's Eve, I heard a song by Kari Jobe that I absolutely love called "Steady My Heart" and I tweeted the following part of her song:
"I'm not gonna worry. I know that You've got me right inside the palm of Your hand.
You steady my heart!"
Little did I know just how much peace and steadiness He was going give me that day!
But God knew :)
God is so Good!! All the Time!!
The ring from my beautiful girls! :)
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