"But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares The Lord...."
Jeremiah 30:17
Sooooo..... today is September 23, 2014....
Exactly one year ago today I received a diagnosis of breast cancer.....inflammatory breast cancer. I kept hearing the words "rare" and "aggressive" and I just knew how I interpreted those words. Over the course of the last year I have re-evaluated my interpretation of those words. I still don't like them, but my knowledge has grown as to what they can mean in the world of cancer.
Bare with me as I am blatantly honest about some low moments, but I am happy to say that the good far outweighs the bad! :)
I thought today was going to be a tough day....mainly because there have been a few low moments in the last few days. Last Thursday (Sept 18th) was the 'anniversary' date of the day I went to the doctor and had the mammogram, ultrasound, and 3 needle biopsies. I still vividly remember everything about that day. It was a tough one. My doctor had told me that she was pretty sure that it was cancer but we had to wait 5 long days for the official diagnosis. I have been remembering things about those 5 days. We went ahead and told family members and a few close friends. I also told some of my coworkers. I can still cry when I think about having to tell my girls and not being able to answer many of their questions. I can remember my lowest moment during those days. I was in the shower and just got weak in the knees and thought I was going to faint. I remember wrapping up in a towel and just laying on the bathroom floor. I prayed right then and there like I had never prayed before. I prayed/pleaded for God to show me His grace and mercy. These are some of the hard memories that have returned in the last few days.
Another difficult part of the last few days was hearing a message at church about forgiveness. Don't get me wrong, it was a wonderful and powerful message. It was difficult to hear because it brought back more memories for me. During my lowest and weakest time of chemotherapy, I had something happen in my life that hurt me worse than anything else has ever hurt me. I have not been struggling with forgiving the ones who were involved, but I have been struggling with totally getting over the hurt. The hurt goes deep. It hurt me and it hurt my family. It also hurt because of the timing that it happened. It is not something that I deal with everyday, but it does still creep up on me sometimes. I really needed to hear the message at church. It provided me with additional strength and I know that the timing of it being preached was no accident.
Now....on a good note!!! This has been a wonderful day!! Not at all like I had anticipated. I have felt strong, happy, thankful, and blessed! For each low moment that I have had in the past few days, there are 100 times as many positives and blessings to reflect on. I am still just overwhelmed by the amount of love and support that we have been shown from the very beginning. I also stand amazed by the goodness of the Lord and how He has blessed me and my family. My love for Him has grown more than I ever thought it could!!
I feel like the few days of low moments will once again be replaced by days of remembering the healing process, the love that we were shown, the blessings that God revealed to us, and the progress that was made in becoming cancer free!! I allowed myself to reflect on the difficult days (which I think was necessary!!) but now I am ready to bounce back to my zero-negative zone!!
Some updates:
I am CANCER FREE!
Believe it or not, sometimes I have a little trouble wrapping my brain around that! It may not make sense but for some reason, after battling the cancer for months, it is not easy to flip the switch.
Currently I am back at my school and this has been the smoothest beginning of any school year! My hope and prayer is that it continues! I am so happy to be back with my students and coworkers!
I am feeling strong and holding up to the demands of working everyday. Thankfully I am not on my feet all day. I have an ELMO in my classroom now which allows me to sit more! It also allows me to instruct the students without having to raise my arm and write on the chalkboard!
While I have had to take naps after school sometimes, I am holding up and doing well!
I have been going to Physical Therapy twice a week since the beginning of August and it has helped tremendously!! I still don't have full range of motion in my left arm but I am making progress! Far more progress than if I didn't have PT.
My hair is growing back slowly but I am still wearing my wig. I am ready to get things back to feeling as normal as possible. Wearing a wig isn't necessarily my 'normal' but it makes me feel like I look more like myself than without it. I have never had short hair so I am not ready to go without the wig. Many people have encouraged me to just ditch the wig. I just can't do it yet. I will when I am ready.....or when my hair is long again! haha! It does seem to be coming in with some curl though! Yay!
I am taking Metformin which is a diabetic medicine. I am not diabetic but this medicine should help to lower the amount of sugar in my system. Since cancer can feed on sugar, this is an option to possibly help fight the recurrence of cancer.
I had a follow-up appointment with my oncologist on September 2nd. At that appointment I had a CT scan which came back good! Praise the Lord!! My blood work looked good as well. I still have a slight tingling sensation in my legs at times which is a lingering side effect of chemotherapy. My oncologist says that will eventually go away. Other lingering side affects... 'chemo brain'. I have had some absent minded moments and feelings of being in a fog. (I am going to blame this on the chemo for as long as possible!!)
My next follow-up with my oncologist is December 2nd.
I have a follow-up appointment with my surgeon on October 3rd. I think it will go well. Everything has healed well since my surgery. I look forward to talking with my surgeon though. She is a great doctor and a huge source of encouragement!!
I need to lose weight. I gained quite a bit of weight during the chemo treatments and taking steroids. I haven't made losing weight a priority because I have been focused on other parts of healing.
Thank you friends for the continued prayers! We are grateful!!
God is SO Good! All the Time!!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths."
Proverbs 3:5-6
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Radiation is Complete!
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
Psalms 103: 1-5
I finished radiation treatments last Friday, June 27th! Yay!! I cannot even express how happy I am to be finished! On that day I had a great celebration breakfast with a coworker/friend....then had a wonderful surprise lunch with 11 coworkers/friends...and finished off the day having dinner with my family. What a great day!!
In this post I thought I would explain what it was like to get radiation.
First though, many have asked what is next.
I have a several follow-up appointments scheduled. I will go back to the radiation doctor in August just so he can see that the skin is healed up properly. I have an appointment in September with my oncologist at the Siteman Center. At this appointment I will have a CT scan, discuss my progress, and probably decide what I want to do as far as further "treatment". My options are to take a diabetic medicine to lower my blood sugar, take part in a clinical trial case study, both of these, or neither of these. Right now I am leaning towards just the diabetic medicine. This has been something I have been praying about for months. In October I have a follow up appointment with my surgeon. That will be six months since my surgery. After that I will have other follow up appointments with my oncologist. Not sure what else but just praying that this cancer never returns and it will be follow-up appointments only!!!
So what is it like to have radiation?
I had to have 33 radiation treatments. It ended up taking 7 weeks (2 of those were 4 day weeks). Every weekday morning I went to Mt. Vernon. I was the first appointment of the morning so things went pretty quickly. I would change into a gown and then they would have me lay on a "table" and reach my arms over my head to grab some handlebar looking things. (This part hurt just because my range of motion in my arms was limited still from surgery.) I had to turn my head to the right and then just lay there. For the first 6 weeks I was "zapped" (as I called it) 3 times each treatment. Each zap lasted 20 seconds and in between each one the machine would re-position in order to direct the beam to a different area. I couldn't see the beam but I could hear the buzzing and I could see the sign that lit up showing the beam was on. For 2 of the 3 beams they put something on me that covered the area to be affected. It was called a "bolus" and from my understanding it was to manage the radiation so that it didn't penetrate my skin too much. In other words, it's purpose was to keep the treatment localized to the surface of my skin. (That is my interpretation but please don't quote me on it!) There were a few days in there that they did some short zaps with the beam in addition to the 3 main zaps. I don't know why, I just laid there and kept still. For the last week I only got zapped once at each treatment. For the most part, each appointment only took about 10-15 minutes which includes changing to/from the gown. On the Wednesday of each week I would call or actually see the radiation doctor so he could monitor my progress.
The area affected was about a 5 inch by 8 inch rectangular area on the left side of my chest and wrapping around my side directly under my left arm. For the last week (5 treatments) they reduced the area to be treated to about a 2 inch by 6 inch smaller rectangle.
My skin got really pink/red. At about the 4th week it started getting sore and under my arm was a little swollen. I would say the last 3 weeks were the worst. My skin by then was very red and peeling in areas. It was tight and the area under my arm was very painful. Thank goodness for those pain meds! I was also putting a special cream on the area since the day the treatments started.
At my last treatment the doctor wrote a prescription for a new cream to start using to help with the healing process. This cream contains antibiotics and I am amazed at the difference after using it for just a few days! Thank goodness! There is still some soreness and more peeling that will happen but the area looks so much better and feels better too. Tomorrow (July 4th) will be one week since my last treatment. Let the healing process continue!
Once again, I must say a HUGE thank you for the prayers and support! Please keep praying that the healing process continues and that the cancer never comes back! EVER!!
I am blessed beyond measure!
God is SO Good! All the Time!
Have a very safe and happy 4th of July everyone!
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
Psalms 103: 1-5
I finished radiation treatments last Friday, June 27th! Yay!! I cannot even express how happy I am to be finished! On that day I had a great celebration breakfast with a coworker/friend....then had a wonderful surprise lunch with 11 coworkers/friends...and finished off the day having dinner with my family. What a great day!!
In this post I thought I would explain what it was like to get radiation.
First though, many have asked what is next.
I have a several follow-up appointments scheduled. I will go back to the radiation doctor in August just so he can see that the skin is healed up properly. I have an appointment in September with my oncologist at the Siteman Center. At this appointment I will have a CT scan, discuss my progress, and probably decide what I want to do as far as further "treatment". My options are to take a diabetic medicine to lower my blood sugar, take part in a clinical trial case study, both of these, or neither of these. Right now I am leaning towards just the diabetic medicine. This has been something I have been praying about for months. In October I have a follow up appointment with my surgeon. That will be six months since my surgery. After that I will have other follow up appointments with my oncologist. Not sure what else but just praying that this cancer never returns and it will be follow-up appointments only!!!
So what is it like to have radiation?
I had to have 33 radiation treatments. It ended up taking 7 weeks (2 of those were 4 day weeks). Every weekday morning I went to Mt. Vernon. I was the first appointment of the morning so things went pretty quickly. I would change into a gown and then they would have me lay on a "table" and reach my arms over my head to grab some handlebar looking things. (This part hurt just because my range of motion in my arms was limited still from surgery.) I had to turn my head to the right and then just lay there. For the first 6 weeks I was "zapped" (as I called it) 3 times each treatment. Each zap lasted 20 seconds and in between each one the machine would re-position in order to direct the beam to a different area. I couldn't see the beam but I could hear the buzzing and I could see the sign that lit up showing the beam was on. For 2 of the 3 beams they put something on me that covered the area to be affected. It was called a "bolus" and from my understanding it was to manage the radiation so that it didn't penetrate my skin too much. In other words, it's purpose was to keep the treatment localized to the surface of my skin. (That is my interpretation but please don't quote me on it!) There were a few days in there that they did some short zaps with the beam in addition to the 3 main zaps. I don't know why, I just laid there and kept still. For the last week I only got zapped once at each treatment. For the most part, each appointment only took about 10-15 minutes which includes changing to/from the gown. On the Wednesday of each week I would call or actually see the radiation doctor so he could monitor my progress.
The area affected was about a 5 inch by 8 inch rectangular area on the left side of my chest and wrapping around my side directly under my left arm. For the last week (5 treatments) they reduced the area to be treated to about a 2 inch by 6 inch smaller rectangle.
My skin got really pink/red. At about the 4th week it started getting sore and under my arm was a little swollen. I would say the last 3 weeks were the worst. My skin by then was very red and peeling in areas. It was tight and the area under my arm was very painful. Thank goodness for those pain meds! I was also putting a special cream on the area since the day the treatments started.
At my last treatment the doctor wrote a prescription for a new cream to start using to help with the healing process. This cream contains antibiotics and I am amazed at the difference after using it for just a few days! Thank goodness! There is still some soreness and more peeling that will happen but the area looks so much better and feels better too. Tomorrow (July 4th) will be one week since my last treatment. Let the healing process continue!
Once again, I must say a HUGE thank you for the prayers and support! Please keep praying that the healing process continues and that the cancer never comes back! EVER!!
I am blessed beyond measure!
God is SO Good! All the Time!
Have a very safe and happy 4th of July everyone!
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Honorary Bat Girl! And an update :)
This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Psalm 118:24
Radiation:
So far the radiation treatments are going just fine. As of today, I have had 10 treatments out of 33 total. My skin is a little pink but not too bad. The treatments go pretty fast. My appt is at 7:20 in the morning at Mt. Vernon and I am usually all finished by 7:30/7:35. There have been several days so far that I have gone straight to my school afterwards and worked all day. There have also been several days that I am wiped out and go home and rest all day! My goal is work the remainder of the school year which is until June 4th but I am just taking it one day at a time.
Appointment with my oncologist:
Today I had a follow-up appointment with my oncologist. She discussed 2 possible options for me to consider as far as a "maintenance" plan. One of them is more of a clinical trial and the other is a type of diabetic medicine even though I am not diabetic. I can also choose to do neither of them. Please continue prayers for discernment on what I should do. I will be going back to her in 3 months. I can wait until then to give her my decision or contact her before then if I decide to do one of them.
Also when I go back in 3 months they will do a CT scan.
Honorary Bat Girl!!!
On Sunday, May 18th, I got to be the Honorary Bat Girl for the St. Louis Cardinals! What a great day this was!! It was so much fun and I was thankful that Mike and the girls got to be with me for everything! During the batting practice before the game we got to go on the field and also take some family pictures in the dugout. The Cardinals were not taking their batting practice but the Atlanta Braves were! We also got to meet Jason Motte of the Cardinals! That was so great! He was so nice and talked to us for a long time. He is part of a cancer organization and we talked a lot about that. I also gave him my "Karen's Krew" bracelet that I have been wearing during my entire journey. To see him put on my bracelet and get to talk to him about it and the Judges 6:12 reference that is on the bracelet was pretty cool! I saw a picture of him being interviewed a couple days later and he still had it on! His organization is Kcancer at 108stitches.com if you would like to check it out. There is a player from almost every Major League Baseball team as a representative for the organization to Strike Out cancer!
Right before the game was to begin, I was one of three people who got to go out to the pitcher's mound and throw out a pitch. This was also pretty cool...and a little intimidating!! I was escorted to the pitcher's mound by Fredbird. Because I am still in the healing process from surgery I had to throw the ball underhand. It wasn't the best throw but who cares!! I was on the pitcher's mound..... at Busch Stadium.....before a Cardinals game!!! They then presented me with a pink bat and I also got to keep the ball that I threw. They had also given me a Cardinal's jersey with "Bat Girl" on the back. After all of this we got escorted to our seats and we enjoyed the game. Thank you to the many friends and coworkers who came to support me and cheer me on through this fun time. I cannot tell you how much it meant to me that so many came to the game and were so excited for me! There were also a great deal of people who could not come to the game but were very supportive and very excited to hear all of the details of the day! I am so blessed with so many great friends who have walked this journey with me and enjoyed this time of excitement!
I took the bat, ball, and jersey to my school last week and had "show and tell" with the students. They thought it was awesome and wanted to hear every detail! That was fun as well!
Here are some pictures from our big day! It's a day I will never forget!!
Please check out 108stitches.com!!
When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."
Judges 6:12
Thank you mighty prayer warriors!!!
God is So Good!! All the Time!!
Psalm 118:24
Radiation:
So far the radiation treatments are going just fine. As of today, I have had 10 treatments out of 33 total. My skin is a little pink but not too bad. The treatments go pretty fast. My appt is at 7:20 in the morning at Mt. Vernon and I am usually all finished by 7:30/7:35. There have been several days so far that I have gone straight to my school afterwards and worked all day. There have also been several days that I am wiped out and go home and rest all day! My goal is work the remainder of the school year which is until June 4th but I am just taking it one day at a time.
Appointment with my oncologist:
Today I had a follow-up appointment with my oncologist. She discussed 2 possible options for me to consider as far as a "maintenance" plan. One of them is more of a clinical trial and the other is a type of diabetic medicine even though I am not diabetic. I can also choose to do neither of them. Please continue prayers for discernment on what I should do. I will be going back to her in 3 months. I can wait until then to give her my decision or contact her before then if I decide to do one of them.
Also when I go back in 3 months they will do a CT scan.
Honorary Bat Girl!!!
On Sunday, May 18th, I got to be the Honorary Bat Girl for the St. Louis Cardinals! What a great day this was!! It was so much fun and I was thankful that Mike and the girls got to be with me for everything! During the batting practice before the game we got to go on the field and also take some family pictures in the dugout. The Cardinals were not taking their batting practice but the Atlanta Braves were! We also got to meet Jason Motte of the Cardinals! That was so great! He was so nice and talked to us for a long time. He is part of a cancer organization and we talked a lot about that. I also gave him my "Karen's Krew" bracelet that I have been wearing during my entire journey. To see him put on my bracelet and get to talk to him about it and the Judges 6:12 reference that is on the bracelet was pretty cool! I saw a picture of him being interviewed a couple days later and he still had it on! His organization is Kcancer at 108stitches.com if you would like to check it out. There is a player from almost every Major League Baseball team as a representative for the organization to Strike Out cancer!
Right before the game was to begin, I was one of three people who got to go out to the pitcher's mound and throw out a pitch. This was also pretty cool...and a little intimidating!! I was escorted to the pitcher's mound by Fredbird. Because I am still in the healing process from surgery I had to throw the ball underhand. It wasn't the best throw but who cares!! I was on the pitcher's mound..... at Busch Stadium.....before a Cardinals game!!! They then presented me with a pink bat and I also got to keep the ball that I threw. They had also given me a Cardinal's jersey with "Bat Girl" on the back. After all of this we got escorted to our seats and we enjoyed the game. Thank you to the many friends and coworkers who came to support me and cheer me on through this fun time. I cannot tell you how much it meant to me that so many came to the game and were so excited for me! There were also a great deal of people who could not come to the game but were very supportive and very excited to hear all of the details of the day! I am so blessed with so many great friends who have walked this journey with me and enjoyed this time of excitement!
I took the bat, ball, and jersey to my school last week and had "show and tell" with the students. They thought it was awesome and wanted to hear every detail! That was fun as well!
Here are some pictures from our big day! It's a day I will never forget!!
Please check out 108stitches.com!!
When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."
Judges 6:12
Thank you mighty prayer warriors!!!
God is So Good!! All the Time!!
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Going to Bat Against Breast Cancer!
John 13:34-35
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Quick update: I had the CT scan today where they placed "markers" for the radiation treatments. For this scan I had to reach my hands up over my head and hold on to some handles. I will be completely honest....it hurt! I have been doing so many arm exercises to try to have more mobility and have really been making progress but today just showed me that I still have a lot of work to do. It is mainly my left arm and shoulder. I go back in a week to possibly do the 'dry run' and if everything goes well they might even do the first treatment on that day. We'll see!
BIG NEWS!
I really want to share some exciting and fun news! Have I already said how much my school rocks?! Well they have really done it this time! A coworker/FRIEND nominated me for the St. Louis Cardinals Honorary Bat Girl contest......and........ I (we) won!!!!!!! Ohhhhh myyyyyyy goshhhhhhhh!!
The Honorary Bat Girl program was introduced in 2009 to raise additional awareness and support for the annual "Going to Bat Against Breast Cancer" initiative celebrated on Mother's Day. Going to Bat Against Breast Cancer is a Major League Baseball initiative supported by its charitable partners Stand Up To Cancer and Susan G. Komen. This initiative raises awareness about the breast cancer cause, while also raising funds to support breast cancer research.
My friend wrote a very sweet and creative nomination entry for me and then encouraged the students, other coworkers, and the community to vote for me. I made it to the top 3 in votes and then there were judges who named me the winner! As the winner I will get to go to an upcoming game and participate in pre-game activities and go on the field for a time of recognition. My students were told today that I won and they were so excited!! I just cannot say enough about my students and coworkers! They have supported me every step of the way and have just shown so much love to me. They wanted this for me so bad and I am truly touched by everything they have done.
If you would like to see the winning entry that was written for me you can click the following link, then click on "meet the winners", and then scroll down to the St. Louis Cardinals. You can also view other winners selected for each Major League Baseball team.
Honorary Bat Girl Winners
What a way to enter in to the final phase of this journey and finish up with such an exciting event!! I do not know which game this all will take place at since the Cards are away on Mother's Day. I am pretty sure it will be a game in May but they have not contacted me about the specifics just yet.
Thank you WGS for making me feel so special!! Your excitement for me just shows how loving you are!
God is SO Good!! All the Time!
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Radiation Soon
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Romans 12:12
Last week on Monday (April 21st) I had a consultation appointment with the radiation oncologist. I don't have a definite date that I will start radiation but I will get the process started next week on Tuesday, May 6th. They will begin by doing a CT scan, set 'markers' for the radiation, and then do a 'dry run' to see if they are satisfied with where the markers are set. (From what I understand, this does not all happen on the same day) After all of that I will be ready to begin with the radiation treatments. I will have 33 treatments which should take 6 1/2 weeks going Monday through Friday except for any holidays. I anticipate that this will take until the end of June but I do not know for sure yet.
I am continuing to get stronger everyday. I have been trying to exercise and take long walks (my dog Max loves the long walks!). My arms are still somewhat limited but hopefully that will not be for much longer! I haven't had much success losing weight but I am trying to be patient with that. My eyebrows and eyelashes continue to grow and the hair on my head is slowly growing (about 1/2 inch). There is a big difference with how my fingernails look now. Before my diagnosis, I would get fake nails because my real nails were very thin and curved under when they grew. During chemo, my nails were very brittle and my fingertips looked almost claw-like which can be a normal side effect. Now though, my nails are growing straight and they are very strong!! I am liking that very much!! I am not yet to the point of calling them pretty nails, but they are most definitely prettier than in the past!!
Since surgery, I have had a few times where my emotions have gotten the best of me. I know that it could be a lingering effect of the chemo and I also think that some of it is from finally being able to "exhale" after these last 7+ months. It usually doesn't last long, but wow, there are times that I cry so easily. Usually I can link it to being tired but let this serve as a warning! Haha! If you see me or are with me and I start crying, just keep acting normal and I will get it under control!! You might have to tell me a joke first, but I WILL stop :)
I have been able to get out more and see people which has been wonderful! I have been able to go to church and I have also been able to go back to my school for some partial days which has been great! I have missed the students and my coworkers so much! They have given me so much strength throughout everything I have been through. They have also been there for each other. This has been a tough year for my school not only with my diagnosis, but some of my coworkers have also faced some serious health issues. Today another coworker became seriously ill. I will not share details but I will ask that you pray for him as you have so diligently prayed for me! Thank you!
May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.
Colossians 1:11-12
God is SO Good! All the Time!
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Progress Update :)
"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
~Isaiah 41:10
Well it has been two and a half weeks since I had my surgery (March 19th). It has been a lonnnngggggggg two and a half weeks. I had to have the drainage tubes in for the full 2 weeks after surgery. I got them out on Tuesday, April 1st. One word - HALLELUJAH!!
Immediately after surgery I was feeling pretty good. I was sore but not in a lot of pain. It was this way for about 3 days and then I started feeling more and more pain and soreness. That is when I finally started taking my pain medication which did help to take the edge off of the pain. If I had to describe the pain, it would be like a burning, painful tingling feeling. I think this is because of affected nerve endings. Extremely sensitive to even the slightest touch. A lot of this pain has been in the armpit area. It has felt very tight and I have had limited arm movement. My left arm has been far worse because this was the side where lymph nodes were removed. Since the tubes have been out I have felt some improvement but I am still needing to take the pain medication and still have limited movement with my arms...mostly the left side. (By the way, I am left handed....) I have been told that it could take up to 2 months or more to get full mobility back in my arms. I have some 'exercises' that I have been doing to try to help with this progress.
Despite all of this, I finally got out of the house! Riding in the car isn't fully comfortable but I was really ready to get out and about and have a sense of "normal"! Last night Mike and I went out to eat and to the movies to see "God's Not Dead" which I HIGHLY recommend! What a great movie! I will probably go see it again sometime! Tonight I am going to see Mandisa in concert!!! I am so excited about this! Her song 'Overcomer' has been a huge source of strength and comfort for me!! Tomorrow I will be going to church! I am also very excited about this! In the last 6 months I have been watching the services through live streaming with the exception of 2 times that I got to actually go to the church for services. I am so looking forward to being back!
Coming up next...
I will be starting radiation soon. I am not sure of exact dates yet but it will probably be in around 2-3 weeks. I will be doing that locally and I am pretty sure it will be in Mt. Vernon. I do not know yet how long I will have to have radiation treatments.
The doctors were very pleased with the results of my pathology from the surgery. The surgeon removed a 'pocket' of lymph nodes which ended up being 13 altogether. Out of the 13 lymph nodes that were removed, 4 of them had been affected by the cancer. Of these 4, they did find scattered microscopic unhealthy cancer cells. That is not the ideal finding but they were encouraged by the fact that the cells were scattered (not clustered) and that they were unhealthy (the chemo had zapped them pretty good!). But overall, these unhealthy scattered cells were removed during the surgery!!! THREE times my surgeon said that I was CANCER FREE!! (I had her repeat it for me...I just wanted to hear it over and over!!)
After the radiation my doctors will continue to monitor me every couple months. I am not eligible for a maintenance pill that some patients take for 5 years. This is because of my triple negative diagnosis. I can't really tell you what the triple negative means other than the cancer was not estrogen fed or hormone fed. There is more to it but it is so over my head even though I tried to learn as much as I could.
My doctor does think I am a candidate for a study that is waiting to be approved by the FDA. It will be up to me if I want to be a participant but that is several months in the future. I will pray about it but I am not going to spend a lot of time thinking about it right now.
Doctors orders: try to get things back to normal! Of course it will be a new normal for me but it will be great to be back out in the real world again! Other than the after effects of surgery I am feeling great! I have taken several walks and feel like my legs have their strength back! I need to get exercise from being so inactive for 6 months...the weight has changed more than I would like to admit.
My hair is starting (very slowly) to grow back. I can see a few eyelashes on the top so there is progress being made! It will take a while for all of this but that is okay!! Hearing my surgeon say cancer free seems to make all of that other stuff very minimal!!
We are still very thankful for so much support! For the 2 weeks after surgery we had meals delivered every single day from friends at church. This was incredible and so kind! Our Immanuel family knows how to live love and they have loved us so much!!
God is Good!! All the Time!!
Monday, March 24, 2014
Surgery is Over!
'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'
Isaiah 41:10
Well the surgery is over! Thank Goodness! Praise the Lord! I am SO thankful that this part of the process is over. It really feels like a MAJOR step towards progress!!
I had the surgery last Wednesday (19th) and everything went well. I was in the hospital overnight and got to come home on Thursday (20th). I have been very surprised that I have not been in much pain. I have a total of 3 drainage tubes that make me very sore and I have to move extremely slow. I am wrapped up and have to keep it that way until I go back to the doctor on April 1st. Everyday the drainage tubes have to be emptied 3 times. That is not painful for the most part but can be uncomfortable. They are attached just under my armpits. Just imagine having that skin clamped and have to keep it that way 24/7...not comfortable at all. We have had a home nurse come to help clean the area and just do an overall check-up. She will be back a few more times. I don't know if it is a possibility, but I am really hopeful that she will say the tubes are ready to be taken out sooner than my April 1st appointment. Have I mentioned how uncomfortable the tubes are?! Ughhhhh....!! Ok enough of my whining!! No matter what, I am taking one day at a time and am so thankful to have reached this point so successfully. Here is a picture of what the drainage tubes look like. I have 2 on the left side and 1 on the right side (very bulky!). There is a 'grenade' and the tubing. You still cannot even see all of the tubing....
The surgeon seemed very pleased with how the surgery went. She said that she did NOT see anything suspicious in the breast that had the cancer in it and that all of the tissue looked normal. Hallelujah!!!! She also removed one cluster of lymph nodes and said that they all looked normal except she could tell that one had been affected. It didn't look like it had cancer but it was a little 'different' than the rest. It wasn't something that she was alarmed or suspicious about. I can't remember her exact words but she was very happy with what she saw, and with what she didn't see!! This gave us a great deal of comfort! They will still send everything to pathology and we will get a more detailed report when we go back to see her. I just cannot say enough about my surgeon, Dr. Margenthaler. She is wonderful!!
We have continued to receive such support and love from so many people. Our meals have been taken care of by many of our church family/friends for the two weeks after the surgery. This has been wonderful and so helpful! And so delicious!!
I have not said much so far but I really have to brag on Mike and my girls, Kailey and Cassidy. Throughout the entire process they have been such a source of strength. I KNOW this has not been easy on them, but oh how they have made things easier for me. Mike has juggled his work, my appointments, household work, and now taking care of these drainage tubes and bandages. Even though many have helped us through everything there are just some things that only he can do (or he wants to do). He has also done a lot of research about every phase of this process and remembers the details far better than I can! The girls have also been so wonderful! Dealing with this along with balancing college, jobs, and just being a young adult can not be an easy thing but you would never know it when you are around them. Their faith has provided great strength and comfort for them but Mama Bear still worries that they are okay. I hate that they have even had to go through this and I know that they wish I didn't have to go through any of it. However, we all know that God has and will continue to bring great things from this experience. As of the time of surgery, we have been battling breast cancer for 6 months. We have all tried to stay positive and I think we have succeeded with this for the most part despite some unusual negative circumstances that have also occurred during this 6 month time period. I have never blogged about those things and I won't go in to detail about them now either, but I just want to express how blessed I am to have Mike, Kailey, and Cassidy. We are a team. We go through everything together. We will also celebrate victory together when this is all a distant memory! I am proud of them for how they have given God the Glory every single day! If you want to see a true picture of God's grace (giving what we don't deserve), and God's mercy (not giving what we do deserve), then look no further than my life. I am well aware of how blessed I am and how God has blessed me with His grace and mercy!
I am still just overwhelmed with how people have shown us so much love throughout every single step of this journey! I am thankful and forever grateful! My next step should be radiation although I do not have any details about this yet.
Thank you everyone!
God is SO Good!! All the Time!!
Isaiah 41:10
Well the surgery is over! Thank Goodness! Praise the Lord! I am SO thankful that this part of the process is over. It really feels like a MAJOR step towards progress!!
I had the surgery last Wednesday (19th) and everything went well. I was in the hospital overnight and got to come home on Thursday (20th). I have been very surprised that I have not been in much pain. I have a total of 3 drainage tubes that make me very sore and I have to move extremely slow. I am wrapped up and have to keep it that way until I go back to the doctor on April 1st. Everyday the drainage tubes have to be emptied 3 times. That is not painful for the most part but can be uncomfortable. They are attached just under my armpits. Just imagine having that skin clamped and have to keep it that way 24/7...not comfortable at all. We have had a home nurse come to help clean the area and just do an overall check-up. She will be back a few more times. I don't know if it is a possibility, but I am really hopeful that she will say the tubes are ready to be taken out sooner than my April 1st appointment. Have I mentioned how uncomfortable the tubes are?! Ughhhhh....!! Ok enough of my whining!! No matter what, I am taking one day at a time and am so thankful to have reached this point so successfully. Here is a picture of what the drainage tubes look like. I have 2 on the left side and 1 on the right side (very bulky!). There is a 'grenade' and the tubing. You still cannot even see all of the tubing....
The surgeon seemed very pleased with how the surgery went. She said that she did NOT see anything suspicious in the breast that had the cancer in it and that all of the tissue looked normal. Hallelujah!!!! She also removed one cluster of lymph nodes and said that they all looked normal except she could tell that one had been affected. It didn't look like it had cancer but it was a little 'different' than the rest. It wasn't something that she was alarmed or suspicious about. I can't remember her exact words but she was very happy with what she saw, and with what she didn't see!! This gave us a great deal of comfort! They will still send everything to pathology and we will get a more detailed report when we go back to see her. I just cannot say enough about my surgeon, Dr. Margenthaler. She is wonderful!!
We have continued to receive such support and love from so many people. Our meals have been taken care of by many of our church family/friends for the two weeks after the surgery. This has been wonderful and so helpful! And so delicious!!
I have not said much so far but I really have to brag on Mike and my girls, Kailey and Cassidy. Throughout the entire process they have been such a source of strength. I KNOW this has not been easy on them, but oh how they have made things easier for me. Mike has juggled his work, my appointments, household work, and now taking care of these drainage tubes and bandages. Even though many have helped us through everything there are just some things that only he can do (or he wants to do). He has also done a lot of research about every phase of this process and remembers the details far better than I can! The girls have also been so wonderful! Dealing with this along with balancing college, jobs, and just being a young adult can not be an easy thing but you would never know it when you are around them. Their faith has provided great strength and comfort for them but Mama Bear still worries that they are okay. I hate that they have even had to go through this and I know that they wish I didn't have to go through any of it. However, we all know that God has and will continue to bring great things from this experience. As of the time of surgery, we have been battling breast cancer for 6 months. We have all tried to stay positive and I think we have succeeded with this for the most part despite some unusual negative circumstances that have also occurred during this 6 month time period. I have never blogged about those things and I won't go in to detail about them now either, but I just want to express how blessed I am to have Mike, Kailey, and Cassidy. We are a team. We go through everything together. We will also celebrate victory together when this is all a distant memory! I am proud of them for how they have given God the Glory every single day! If you want to see a true picture of God's grace (giving what we don't deserve), and God's mercy (not giving what we do deserve), then look no further than my life. I am well aware of how blessed I am and how God has blessed me with His grace and mercy!
I am still just overwhelmed with how people have shown us so much love throughout every single step of this journey! I am thankful and forever grateful! My next step should be radiation although I do not have any details about this yet.
Thank you everyone!
God is SO Good!! All the Time!!
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