Proverbs
3: 5-6
Trust in
the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; in all your
ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path.
We have been
amazed at the way we have seen God throughout this time in our lives. We feel He has revealed some of His
orchestration of events. He has revealed
Himself through prayers. He has revealed
Himself through other people.
My hope is
that He has revealed Himself TO
other people! My hope is also that He is
glorified through every moment. If you
do not know the Lord, (or even if you do!) please keep reading about a few
“big” things that He has done in my life just within the past year that have affected
how I am able to now be at home going through chemo and this fight against
breast cancer. My hope is that He
reveals Himself to anyone reading this blog and more would come to know Him!
In my last blog, I gave my breast cancer
diagnosis date of September 23, 2013.
The focus of this blog is to show God’s
Hand in everything. Let me just explain
some things that “fell into place” leading up to my diagnosis date.
1)
Mike
and I felt led to stop working in the Youth Department at Immanuel Baptist
Church. I knew early on in the year that
I was being led to do this. I had been
working in the youth department at Immanuel for 15 years and absolutely loved
it! I was teaching the Junior/Senior
girls Sunday School class which was a blessing!
Feeling led to leave was a struggle!
Why was I feeling led to stop doing something that I LOVED to do;
something that I felt had helped me grow the most in my relationship with the Lord? (Both my girls were moving out for college so
I thought I would have even more time to devote to the youth!) And yet, the feeling was strong and I knew
that it was what I was supposed to do.
So in August I was done.
Go where God leads you! Leave somewhere He leads you
to leave!
2)
I finished my Master’s Degree in
July. It had taken 2 years and it was
such a relief to be finished. God put
some amazing people in that Master’s cohort for those 2 years. People that I now call friends! This was no accident! (Again though, because I knew my master’s
program would be finished I would have more time to work in the youth
department!)
God knew my focus and energy was going to be needed
elsewhere.
3)
This is a longer story about my youngest
daughter Cassidy. A little info about
her first. She is an amazing girl with such
a great personality! She is almost
always in a good mood with a smile on her face!
Very outgoing and very independent!
Somewhat stubborn like her mother.
Cassidy knew throughout all of high school that she was going to go away
to college and she was going to be a cheerleader (on a competitive cheer squad)
wherever she went. Towards the end of
her senior year of HS she became very interested in Missouri Baptist
University. We visited there and met with
the cheer coach who was extremely interested in having Cass cheer for her and
offered her a nice scholarship. Things
were ‘falling into place’ for Cass and she was so excited! During the summer we spent some time getting
things for her dorm room and she got to know her future roommate through
Facebook. (She was also going to be a MBU cheerleader) Cass was excited about a
3 day cheer camp they were going to go to in early August, right before school
was to begin. Little did we know what
God had in store for her at this camp!
This camp was held at a university on the other side
of Missouri (7 hours away). That worked
on my nerves more than I thought it would!
As I stated before, Cassidy is independent, but she is still MY baby and
that was a long way away!
When my girls aren’t with me, I stay in constant
communication with them through texting or phone calls. During the days/nights Cassidy was gone to this
cheer camp, her messages were different.
She kept saying everything was going great, but I could tell there was
something different. When I talked to
her on the phone I could hear it in her voice, even as she would tell me how
much fun she was having. A momma
knows…..a momma just knows.
Finally the night arrived to pick her up at the campus
(which is 2 hours from our home). It was
around 8/9 in the evening when they got back.
I was so happy to see Cass but now I knew something was going on….it was
even on her face even though she gave me her wonderful smile and a big hug.
We got about a half mile down the road and I did my
usual “Well, how did it go?” When I
looked over at her, she broke. She
didn’t just start crying, she started sobbing.
My heart still breaks when I think about seeing her like that. She was able to get out a few short sentences
in between sobs. She said “I can’t do
it”, “I’m not ready”, and “This isn’t where I am supposed to be.” More tears.
After about 15 minutes, she was able to calm down, take some deep
breaths, and talk. What she told me next
sent a flood of emotions through me.
As early as the bus ride to the camp (7 hours
remember) Cass said she just started having some strange questions about what
she was doing. (God had her alone…and
quiet) Each night at the camp, the
cheerleaders had a time of devotion together.
On the 2nd night, the devotion was about why God had brought
them to that very place at that very time.
The leader of the devotion said that each girl was there for a purpose
and asked the girls if they knew what that purpose was. Cassidy said it basically hit her like a ton
of bricks. She felt that she was there
so God could actually show her, reveal to her, that this is NOT where she was
supposed to be. She was NOT supposed to
go to MBU. She was NOT supposed to even
go away to college. She was positive of all of those
things.
I finally asked her what made her cry so hard about
it. If she was positive that this is
what God was revealing to her then what had her so upset. She said she was afraid that is was too late
to make the changes. It was a week
before school was to start and she had signed a contract for cheerleading. (Oh the innocence of youth can be so sweet
sometimes!) The relief on that girls
face when I told her it wasn’t too late and if this is God telling her to stay
home then He would not keep it from happening!
I know that I made this a long story and probably
could have left out some of the details, but I want everyone to really see
God’s Hand in every aspect! I am also
extremely proud of Cassidy for being obedient to God’s calling and direction in
her life. How easy it could have been
for her to stick with HER plan, but oh how miserable she would have been. I don’t even want to think about that. We are so thankful to have Cassidy at
home. She is going to RLC, she is
cheering there, she is working on campus, and she is loving every minute of
it!! Praise the Lord! He is so Good!
4)
The weekend before I first went to the
doctor (September 13-14) I went to a women’s retreat at Lake Saliteeska
with about 70 women from Immanuel. I had
debated about whether or not to go from the time they announced it. Ultimately I felt that I needed to go (God
was leading me there!) and I am so glad that I did. The retreat was so much fun!
The focus of the retreat was on God’s peace. To keep
this story a little shorter, let me just say that during a small group (4
women) discussion we were asked to try to pick one thing that we wanted to take
away from the retreat and focus on.
Going in to the retreat I was majorly stressed with some things going on
at work (I will not give details).
During this small group discussion it was revealed to me that I was not seeking
God’s peace in my life. I had asked for
it before and I definitely wanted it, but I wasn’t SEEKING it! There is
a difference! That was huge for me and
little did I know just how soon I was really going to need it!
He has given me so much Peace!
2 Thessalonians 3:16
Now may the Lord of peace Himself
continually grant you peace
in every circumstance. The Lord be with you all!
Philippians 4:6-7
Be anxious for
nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let
your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard
your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
*************************************************************
Even though we questioned some of these things at the time they happened, they have all
revealed God’s Hand of protection and a bigger plan ahead. There are more things that have happened that
I could also write about. Maybe I will
another day.
Since
my diagnosis He has still been revealing Himself and showering us with
blessings and MANY answered prayers.
While I don’t need to go into as much detail, I want to share some examples of these as well!
1)
All of my tests
came back showing the cancer had not spread!
2)
My genetics test came back negative!
3)
The outpouring of
support from everyone has been amazing and a huge source of encouragement (this
will be the topic in one of my next blogs!)
4)
Kailey got a job
within a month of moving in to her apartment.
She is loving the PTA program and is doing wonderful! She is close enough to come home often as
well J
5)
Cassidy is
happily living at home, cheering at RLC, and working at RLC.
6)
Kailey got a 2nd
job (to start in December) at her apartment complex which means FREE rent. Hallelujah!!!
7)
On this week of
Thanksgiving, Mike received a promotion at work!! The process for this promotion started right
around the week of September 23 (my diagnosis).
I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving!
Thank you all for taking time to read this blog and offer your support and prayers!
God is SO Good! All the Time!
